To Forgive and Forget
by shadowkissed-rachel
Summary: The Golden Lily from Rose and Dimitri's POV. Dimitri has left for Palm Springs to help Adrian and Sonya as they race to find a cure for turning Strigoi. He and Rose are forced apart as she continues with her role as a guardian. They are both bound by duty, but know they can survive anything as long as they hold on to each other. Sequel to "To Serve and Protect."
1. Chapter 1

**I'm back! This is the first update of To Forgive and Forget. As always, be sure to review and let me know what you think! Also, if you have any ideas or if there is anything you want to read, feel free to share with me and I'll see what I can do.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, Bloodlines, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

_**Dimitri – **_

Plane rides make me uneasy. Something about being sealed into an airtight metal canister as it shoots across the sky, 30,000 feet above the ground just doesn't sit right with me. Driving is my preferred method of traveling; I would take the open roads over the open skies any day. Of course driving to Palm Springs, California from Pennsylvania would have been an inefficient use of time and resources, so I had accepted that my journey would start with a plane ride.

My stomach sank a little as the cabin shook. The pilot hadn't turned off the fasten seat-belts sign once since our ascension, and we had experienced a fair bit of turbulence. If this was any indication of what the next few months had to offer me, then I was less than excited. Thinking about one of the last times I had ridden in an airplane didn't help to calm my nerves any. I had watched Rose suffer a complete mental breakdown. I hadn't been able to help her then, and now I was leaving her.

The words of the novel clutched in my hands blurred over at the thought of my Roza. Despite the fact that it had been more than 12 hours since I had watched her climb into that black SUV, the one that had taken her away from me, my lips still tingled with the feel of her skin. I fought the urge to brush my fingers over them, knowing that it wouldn't be the same. Instead, I felt the ghost of a smile spread over my face as I thought about my last night with her.

I didnt think I would ever get used to knowing that she was mine. I had wanted her for so long, dreamt about her, fought for her, and now we were together – something I had never thought would happen. It was something I hadn't even known I'd wanted until she had come along. She had burst into my life at such a strange time, she was everything beautiful and passionate and good in this world. Roza was everything I hadn't known I'd needed.

I thought about the way her cheeks had flushed and the way she had bit her lip when I had told her these things last night. I wanted to make sure she knew what she meant to me. Maybe she had already known, but when I had looked down at her; naked and vulnerable, and regarding me with so much love, I couldn't help but remind her.

Some one cleared their throat, jarring me from my thoughts of Roza.

It was Abe.

Panic seized me, and I suddenly found myself wondering if there was anyway he had known that I was thinking about his daughter: the way she looked beneath me, the way her hair fell in curls all around her and framed her head like a delicate crown, the way she moaned my name...

_Stop it, Dimitri._ I told myself.

I concentrated on the page of my novel, telling myself that Abe was a lot of things – powerful, rich - Rose was even convinced he was some kind of gangster pirate, but he wasn't a mind reader. He eyed me suspiciously. He and Janine knew better than to give Rose a hard time about our relationship, their own relationship with their only daughter was already strained. Still, I had caught him staring at me with an almost wicked smile on his tanned features a number of times, like he was daring me to hurt his daughter. I stared even harder at the page, making sure my expression didn't betray my thoughts.

"You haven't turned the page once since you opened that book," the voice that had spoken was laced with a thick southern accent, and sounded mildly critical.

I glanced up at where Angeline sat across the aisle from me. She stared at me with wide eyes. Her auburn hair fell in a tangled heap down her shoulder and her hands rested in her lap. She was wringing them together so tightly, I feared she would rub her skin raw. It dawned on me that she was probably nervous, this only being her second time on an airplane. Actually, when I considered what a sheltered life she had led up until this point, she was behaving more calmly than one would expect.

I chuckled softly as I closed the book and turned it over to examine it. The cover was well worn and the pages were soft and curled at the edge from being turned over and over again. The title read _Lonesome Dove_ in block letters, it was one of my favorites. I leaned over the aisle and held it out to Angeline.

"You should give it a try," I told her. "You might enjoy it."

Angeline took it from me gingerly and ran her fingers over its spine delicately.

"What's it about?"

I pondered her question before answering, "Cowboys."

I decided to keep my answer simple. In reality, it was so much more than that – it was about brotherhood and justice, it was everything I thought about when I pictured the Old West.

She shrugged her shoulders and flipped it open to the first page. I wondered if I would ever get Rose to crack open a book.

As if sensing my thoughts, Angeline looked up to ask me a question, "Does your girlfriend like this cowboy stuff?"

"My girlfriend?"

I didn't mean to demean my relationship with Rose by questioning Angeline's use of the word girlfriend, but we had never actually defined our relationship. We were together, we were in love, and we were loyal to one another. I suppose that did make Rose my girlfriend, even if we had never formally established those roles for each other, we had played those parts anyways.

"Do you mean Rose?" I asked her thoughtfully.

Angeline scrunched up her face a little at the mention of Rose.

"Yeah, she's your girlfriend, right? I could tell, y'all were always starin' at each other all gooey-eyed, and she turned down my brother. All the girls back home couldn't believe it."

I couldn't help but laugh at the mention of our time with the Keepers, it had been an interesting experience to say the least.

"Rose and I have different tastes when it comes to forms of entertainment."

_That was an understatement, _I thought to myself as I remembered a time when her and Vasilisa and holed themselves up in our apartment and watched reality television for six hours straight.

"How is Rose liking Lehigh?" Sonya had turned around in her seat and peered over at me from the row in front of mine.

A quick glance in Abe's direction told me he was listening to our conversation, which unnerved me a little bit.

"I think she would like it more if Lissa's schedule included a few combat courses," I said jokingly.

Sonya laughed, "I only ask because she was never very fond of her classes when I was her teacher, I think she preferred sleeping."

This was a sentiment I was all too familiar with, but instead of commenting on Rose's sleeping habits in front her father, I merely nodded along. I didn't think bringing up our time at the academy together would win me any points with Abe.

The pilot's voice crackled over the speakers just then, announcing that we would be beginning our descent into Palm Springs soon. The cabin fell silent, and everyone tensed just a little.

Abe's voice sliced through the air like a knife, "We will be landing in a tiny airfield outside of the city where a rental car will be waiting for us," he said in a thick Turkish accent. "From there we will meet up with Adrian and Sydney."

Thoughts of what my participation in the upcoming spirit experiments could mean for the Moroi world had consumed most of my time since I had found out about them. I had almost forgotten that it meant spending a great deal of time with Adrian Ivashkov. From what Rose had told me about their last conversation, he hadn't taken things very well. The guilt of what Rose and I had done to him lingered in the back of my mind and I wondered how he would react to my arrival, or if he even knew I was coming.

The rest of our plane ride was silent, but I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief when the wheels touched down onto the solid ground. We all gathered our luggage from the overhead compartments and disembarked. The hot air of Palm Springs hit me like a slap in the face, I was surprised it didn't immediately sap the energy out of me. Beads of sweat began to form on everyone's brow almost immediately, and I realized my duster probably wasn't the best wardrobe choice.

We piled into the rental car. Abe, unlike his daughter, had no qualms with me offering to drive. He gave me directions over my shoulder as I maneuvered the vehicle down streets lined with palm trees until we arrived outside of an apartment. I did my best to memorize the turns we had taken and the names of all the streets we had driven past. It was difficult to commit the buildings to memory though, most of them were identical and differed only in the amount of stucco that covered each one.

Angeline stuck her head out the window and let out a whistle.

"Who lives here?" she asked.

"Adrian Ivashkov," said Abe. "Why don't you come with me my dear, I'll introduce you. Belikov, would you mind parking the car?"

He was again sporting an expression that dared me to defy him.

"Not at all," I said as pleasantly as possible.

Sonya turned from the passenger seat and smiled at me, "I'll come with you."

I was grateful for her company. Not just in parking the car, I had a feeling she was going to be one of my only companions with whom I talked regularly. Though we had more in common with each other than either of us liked to discuss; we were both here for the same reasons, and we had both left the ones we loved back in Pennsylvania. I wondered if Mikhail had been as understanding as Rose had. Her willingness to let me go had surprised me, she would probably never cease to surprise me. I could just picture her, fifty years down the road - still cracking jokes and pulling stunts, still finding new ways to express her love.

I found a spot about a block away from Adrian's apartment and managed an effortless parallel parking job. Sonya and I strolled down a smooth and well maintained sidewalk toward Adrian's She walked with her eyes closed for a brief moment, her face lifted toward the sun. Most Moroi wouldn't have been so keen to soak in the harsh rays of the sun, but I knew what it meant for Sonya. We walked up the steps, but I found myself hesitating. Sonya didn't though, she knocked on the door and Abe opened it a few moments later. She walked in as casually as if she herself lived there. I decided to hang back and watched as she smiled at everyone who stood in the living room. She hugged Adrian fondly, and was beginning to make her way over to Sydney when I noticed that they were both staring at me. Adrian had gone rigid, and the way he stared at me told me that no one had bothered to tell him about my arrival.

These next few months were going to be interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, Bloodlines, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

_**Rose - **_

I would give almost anything for a Strigoi to bust through the doors of my classroom right now. Okay, maybe not a Strigoi, but if some delinquent student felt like pulling the fire alarm, I would be all for it – anything to keep my professor from putting our quiz questions up on the projector. My eyes swept the room with guardian efficiency, hoping I might see a plug or a switch, something that might disable it. I was that desperate.

"I know you've all been reading along diligently," said the professor, a little more smugly than was probably necessary. "So this little quiz should be a piece of cake. You have the rest of the class to finish." He smiled at all of us, but it wasn't a happy smile.

As soon as the projector came to life, everyone around me snapped to attention. From the corner of my eye, I could see Lissa reading the questions carefully. Her hand was moving across the paper without her having to even look down. I could practically feel the wheels in her head beginning to turn. Of course she was prepared. I let out a sigh and glanced up at the screen, I had to at least try.

Whatever confidence I had mustered quickly fell away as I read the question. First, it gave some scenario about two people who had committed a crime together, but they had both been incarcerated separately. The prosecutor gave them each the same options: they could remain silent, or they could snitch on their partner. My professor wanted to know what the best outcome would be for each person. Then I read further and saw that beneath the text, there was a rectangle, divided up into four parts. In each of the four squares was a set of numbers. Alarms started going off in my head, this was statecraft, not math! _Why were there numbers and squares? _I thought back to my study sessions with Dimitri at our kitchen table.

Bad idea.

Now instead of words and numbers swimming around in my head, all I could see was Dimitri. I could picture his soft lips perfectly as they tried to explain what these little squares were for. I could see his dark eyes, full of warmth and wisdom as he walked me through an exercise I was supposed to be learning for this quiz. What was it? I racked my brain, but the only thoughts I could conjure were of my last night with Dimitri, before I had left for Lehigh.

_Think, Rose._

_Chicken? No, that was something else…This was the Prisoner's Dilemma!_

"Aha!" I cried out.

It took me a moment to realize that I had verbally expressed my moment of triumph out loud. My cheeks tinged with red as I looked up and realized that everyone, including my professor, was staring at me. Lissa looked like she was trying to stifle a giggle.

"Sorry," I whispered.

I put my head down and went to work. The Prisoner's Dilemma – I wondered if my own experiences as a prisoner would help me out with my quiz.

Probably not, but I tried my best anyways.

Afterward, Lissa and I walked to the front together to hand in our quizzes.

"Ah, Rosalie and Vasaloosa," said the crotchety old man who called himself our professor. "I was wondering when the two of you would be returning to class. I am very sorry for your loss." He certainly didn't sound very sorry.

"Wait, what?" I asked. "Vasaloosa? It's Vasilisa, and I'm just Rose."

He pretended not to hear me, "I trust that you both are all caught up?"

Lissa nodded her head enthusiastically. "Of course we are, and thank you so much for expressing your concern. In the future, you can call me Lissa."

She gave him her sweetest smile, and I saw that his eyes had glazed over only slightly. A slow grin spread over his wrinkled face and he sat down contentedly.

"Your majesty," I hissed, as we walked toward the back of the classroom. "Did you just compel our professor?"

She avoided my gaze at first, then looked at me with the same smile she had given our teacher just moments earlier. "I am very sure I don't know what you're talking about."

I rolled my eyes, "Maybe you could compel him into giving me an A for the semester."

"Why would I do that? You sounded like you knew exactly what you were doing," she said jokingly.

I blushed all over again, "Very funny," I grumbled. "Now what do you want to do?"

We had a decent break in between our classes, but it never seemed worth it to drive back to our apartment. I also had the feeling that if I came within 100 yards of my bed, I wouldn't be able to leave it for at least the rest of the day.

She shrugged, "We could check out the library?"

I groaned, "You would pick the library."

Lissa shoved me playfully as we made our way toward the center of campus where the school's main library stood. It was a massive brick building with ivy crawling up the sides and stone steps leading to its doors. As soon as we crossed the threshold, I was struck by a number of things.

"Is that kid in his pajamas?" I said to Lissa in a low voice.

She glanced around, but her eyes finally rested on a guy who sat slumped over in front of a computer. He wore flannel pajama bottoms and bunny slippers.

She frowned, "Yeah, but the library is open 24 hours, so maybe he's been here for a while."

"That is a sad existence," I told her.

"Some people like coming to the library," she said as pulled me with her toward an empty table.

I looked over my shoulder at the poor soul clad in slippers, "He doesn't look like he likes it."

She chose not to dignify my comment with a response, and instead began rifling through her backpack until she found whatever book she was looking for. I didn't bother with any of my own books. Instead I looked around, noting where large groups of students had congregated, and where all of the points of entry were. It took me a moment to spot the guardian who was serving as one of Lissa's far-guards. Guardian Mynor did a good job of blending in. We made eye contact briefly, only long enough for him to give me a slight nod. _Poor guy, _he had taken a seat near a particularly chatty group of girls.

Lissa's eyes followed my gaze and noticed the girls for the first time.

She wrinkled her nose, "Isn't this supposed to be a place where people study?"

A second glance around the room revealed that she was right, very few people were actually studying. Most of the students were lounging around the various tables and sitting areas, talking idly with one another. Apparently the library was where the masses came to socialize.

"We should follow their lead," I said sliding the book away from her. "We wouldn't want you standing out."

I waited for Lissa to argue with me, or to try and snatch her book back, but to my surprise, she just smiled.

"Yeah," she said. "I could actually use a break.

I noticed then that there were bags under her jade green eyes, and her delicate features betrayed signs of exhaustion.

"How are you doing?" I asked in a low voice. "We haven't really talked about…about how you're dealing with spirit."

She hesitated before responding. "There's no darkness…well only a little. I just don't really touch the magic as much as I used to."

"Don't have a reason to?"

"Don't have the time," she said, letting out a small chuckle.

Her laughter fell away and I watched her thoughts turn inward as she began to ponder something. As I studied Lissa, I instinctively felt myself reach out to her, like I had done a million times when the bond had still been in tact. But nothing happened, I guess I would have to do this the old fashioned way.

"Lissa, what's wrong?"

She let out a deep sigh before answering. "When I was making the spirit charms, the ones that ward off spirit dreams, I could feel…I was…" She bit her lip, searching for the right words. "It felt like it used to, the darkness I mean. It's like there's this heavy swirl of churning emotions inside of me sometimes."

This was exactly what I had worried would happen. My eyes darted around the room, making sure no one was within earshot of us, even Mynor.

"Lissa, maybe we should consider going back on the medication."

I hadn't meant to say "we," it had just slipped out. I was just so used to my mental state being linked with hers.

"It's not we anymore," she said bitterly.

My expression must have conveyed how much her words bothered me, because she immediately began back-tracking.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said warily, rubbing her temples with the tips of her fingers. "It's just been hard."

She said that like it hadn't been hard for me too, but I knew we each had our own burdens to bare. I decided it wouldn't be productive for me to mention my own problems. Instead, I reached out my hands to scoop up one of hers.

"Maybe we're not connected in the way that we used to be, but that is the only thing that has changed between you and me. I will always be there to protect you," I told her firmly.

She looked across the table at me with shining eyes, giving me a soft smile.

"Oh, Rose," she breathed. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Hopefully you never have to find out."

A strange silence fell over both of us.

"When did we get so serious?" I asked her jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Since a certain some one, who shall remain nameless, decided to get me nominated to run a secret ancient race of vampires," she said casually, as if ascending the throne at the age of 18 was a relatively normal thing that happened to people.

"Who ever had that idea must be a genius, because you're doing a great job," I told her in a sing-song voice.

She let out a huff and pulled her hand away, using it to prop up her chin. "You might be the only one who thinks so."

"That's not true! You've only been on the throne for a few months, you just need to give it a little more time."

"I think you mean that months have already gone by," she said bleakly. "And the only thing I've gotten the entire council to agree on is…" Her words broke off abruptly.

She didn't need to finish her sentence though.

"Dimitri says the Moroi fighting program is up and running smoothly. You did that." I said quickly, desperate to change the subject.

"Christian did that," she said, as she twirled a strand of hair that had slipped out of her bun.

I made a face at her, "I'm trying to be supportive here."

She laughed, "I'm sorry, thank you."

I glanced down at my watch, noting the time.

"Come on," I said, getting to my feet. "We should go if we want to snag a seat in the back row."

Lissa had eventually caved in to my desire to avoid the front row at all costs, and we now sat in the back of our classrooms when we could. I had told her that guardian protocol required that we sit near the exit, in case of an emergency. She had seen right through my reasoning, but indulged me anyways.

The rest of the day passed quickly enough, all of my classes blurring together into one boring lecture. Despite the tired feeling I had been at war with all day, I had asked Lissa if I could meet her back at the apartment after our classes ended so I could finally check out the on-campus gym. She had arranged for one of the SUVs to pick me up and even went as far as to promise to have dinner waiting for me when I got back.

Lehigh's gym turned out to be a massive building composed of steel and concrete, with thick glass covering the walls of one side of the entire structure. Inside, everything was clean and modern. The machines were all state of the art, I was in guardian training heaven. I swiped my student ID and grabbed a towel and locker key from the service desk. I was about to turn away when the guy sitting behind the desk called out to me.

"The ellipticals are on the second floor."

"Uh…" his comment had caught me a little off guard. "Thanks?"

He gave me a lopsided grin that reminded me fleetingly of Adrian. I turned my back on him, and after stowing my keys and phone in a locker, made my way toward the indoor track. I was a little surprised when I stepped onto the artificial track – I was suddenly filled with longing. I wished Dimitri was here to run beside me. I always ran harder, faster, and longer when I knew he was there beside me. A part of what drove me was my intense competitive nature, the other was that I wanted him to see how much I was constantly improving.

I forced myself to run four miles. Despite the cool indoor conditions of the gym, I was sweating profusely. I made my way toward the weights, eager to get in some lifting and to let off some steam. As I looked around at all of the weights and the machines, it dawned on me why the guy at the front desk had tried to direct me toward the ellipticals. The only other female out on the floor was a trainer. I wasn't phased though, I was used to unequal gender ratios. I decided to start out with the leg press machine. I selected my weight amount and climbed onto the raised seat. Before I could get out even one rep, a guy in gym shorts and a tank stumbled over to me.

"Woah! Don't hurt yourself, that's way too much."

I wanted to laugh in his face, but instead I looked him dead in the eyes, and braced my legs against the raised platform. I pushed off effortlessly, the weights moving in sync with my movements. I did ten reps while staring dead-pan into the eyes of this stranger. When I had finished, I bent down and added more weight.

"Oh, uh…'" He managed to stammer out. "Never mind."

No one bothered me after that, and I left the gym feeling better than I had in a long time. I glanced down at my phone and my heart leapt at the sight of the screen. I had a missed call from Dimitri. I had tried calling him this morning, but it had gone straight to voicemail. I dialed his number as I wondered toward the rendezvous point. A warm, Russian accent answered after the second ring.

"Roza?"

"Dimitri," I answered breathlessly.

I hadn't been able to speak with him since I had left for Lehigh, his voice sent shivers up my spine.

"How is California?" I asked excitedly

"I've been here less than day."

"So? How is it? Have you talked to Jill? How is Sydney?" I had a million questions for him.

"I spoke with Eddie on the phone, Jill is fine. Sydney is too."

"I need details, comrade," I told him impatiently.

He laughed, "So far, I've only met with Sydney, and…" His voice tapered off at the end of his sentence.

"And?"

"Adrian," he said hesitantly.

"Oh, how is he?"

"I think he was doing okay."

"What do you mean was?"

"I don't think he was very happy to see me."

I bit my lip as I thought about what Dimitri was telling me. "He shouldn't be upset with you. I'm the one who hurt him."

Dimitri paused before answering, "That doesn't make me completely blameless, Roza."

"I know," I said, a little frustrated.

"I think he'll come around," he said, probably trying to comfort me. "Its funny, you should see the way he lights up around Sydney."

"Wait, what?" I asked, not bothering to mask my surprise.

He laughed, "I know, I haven't been here that long, but something about the way he looks at her…"

"Ha ha, very funny, Dimitri," I said as a pair of headlights came into my periphery. I cursed under my breath, realizing that it was probably my ride.

"Is something wrong?" He asked me, voice full of concern.

"No…I just have to go, but I can call you when I get back to the apartment?"

The SUV had pulled up to curb where I had been standing.

"Whatever you want to do, Roza."

I grinned, even though he wasn't there to see it. "I love you."

"I love you too, so much."

**Hey guys! Sorry about the delay! First of all thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. To answer some of your questions, I hope to alternate between Rose and Dimitri's point of view. I also have every intention of finishing the Bloodlines series. Let me know what you thought about this chapter, as well as what scene you're most excited about reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry about the delay guys, I was having some trouble figuring out the timeline for the story and where I wanted this chapter to pick up. Luckily, Gigi256 came to my rescue, thank you for your help! Let me know what you guys think. Also if you're into AU fics check out my new story, Pulse.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, Bloodlines, or any of its characters. All rights go to Richelle Mead.**

**_Dimitri – _**

I met Adrian's gaze unflinchingly, but then tried to soften my expression when I realized that I probably appeared to be glaring at him. An awkward tension filled the living room of Adrian's apartment, confirming my fear that no one had bothered to mention to Adrian that I would be staying in Palm Springs indefinitely. A quick glance in Sydney's direction told me that she was just as shocked as Adrian, though she did a better job of masking her surprise.

"Sydney," said Abe jovially, breaking the silence. "You remember Dimitri Belikov?"

"Of course," snapped Sydney. She seemed to be as bothered by being in the same room as Abe, as Adrian was to be in the same room as me.

Abe ignored her tone and continued. "He will be staying with Sonya at Mr. Donahue's."

Sydney only nodded.

Abe grinned, fangs and all, almost like he was taunting her. I realized then that much of the tension that filled the room and been there long before I had crossed the threshold. Whatever Abe and Sydney had been discussing, it hadn't been pleasant.

"Your apartment is so…charming," said Sonya, trying to lighten the mood.

Adrian pulled his eyes away from me and looked to where Sonya stood. He gave her a lazy smile before answering, "I'm not so sure about the color…I'll probably paint over the walls."

"What color?" asked Sonya.

Adrian was no longer looking at Sonya as he pondered the answer to her question. He was staring at Sydney. He was regarding her…affectionately.

"Yellow," he said dreamily. "I think yellow is just what this place needs."

"Yellow? Isn't that kinda girly?" I had forgotten that Angeline was also among the group.

Adrian laughed, "Just because I'm pretty doesn't mean I'm girly."

Angeline eyed him, looking as if she didn't really believe him.

"I should probably get back to Amberwood," said Sydney abruptly. "I'll need to show Angeline around and get her registered for classes."

Angeline shot me a nervous look. I was a little caught off guard that she would seek me out, but I supposed it wasn't that strange when I considered who among us seemed the most familiar to her.

I gave her a small smile, "Sydney and Eddie will take good care of you at Amberwood. Remember why you're here though, listen to Eddie and train hard," I finished sternly.

"I'm ready," she told me confidently. "I'll take out any Strigoi that comes near Jill!"

Sydney answered before I could. "Hopefully you won't have to," she said with a slightly haunted tone.

I wondered then how she was holding up. Sydney was brave, and incredibly resilient for a human. She had faced down Strigoi on multiple occasions when she had helped Rose and I stay hidden a few months back. But what had happened with Lee Donahue and the others had been different. From what I had gathered, the Strigoi and actually tried to drink from Sydney. My features hardened at the thought.

Sydney briefly made eye contact with Adrian before ushering Angeline out the door. Adrian watched her go, and didn't tear his eyes away from the front door until Abe cleared his throat.

"I don't think I need to remind you how important the work you will be doing here is," he said, looking at Adrian. "Most of the experiments will probably need to be run out of your apartment."

Adrian's brow furrowed at this, "Fine," he said with the wave of his hand.

He turned and headed into the kitchen without another word. It wasn't long before I could hear the distinct clinking of glasses.

"Keep an eye on him," said Abe in a low voice.

"Of course," said Sonya.

"Will you be needing a ride back to the airport?" I asked Abe. I wasn't particularly keen on taking him, but offered just the same.

"No, I think I'll find a hotel for the night, I have some business in Los Angeles to see to in the morning," he said with a glint in his eye.

I was grateful when Sonya yawned just then.

"We should get to Clarence's," I told her. "The time change is probably going to interfere with our sleep cycles."

Sonya nodded and then turned to follow Adrian into the kitchen to say good bye. I decided he probably wouldn't be too offended if I left without another word to him.

Sonya and I dropped Abe off in front of a lavish hotel before making our way across town to our new accommodations. I parked the blue rental car in the driveway of a gothic style manor and grabbed both mine and Sonya's luggage.

"I wonder who his decorator is?" asked Sonya, the hint of a smile on her face.

"Rose told me it's not that bad on the inside," I assured her.

We climbed the stone steps and I pulled on the brass knocker, bracing myself to meet our host.

As it turns out, Clarence Donahue has an incredibly active imagination. Rose had tried to warn me that the old Moroi was somewhat…eccentric, but even her words hadn't prepared me for Clarence's conspiracy theories. As soon as Sonya and I had been ushered inside, he had begun regaling us with a number of tales, most of which centered around some ludicrous notion that there were humans out in the world who hunted vampires. He had, however, been kind enough to allow Sonya and me to stay in his home indefinitely, so we of course politely indulged him. Other than his obsession with vampire hunters, I liked Clarence. I especially liked his massive library that I had discovered during the tour of his home. I hadn't had the chance to examine it at length, but it had immediately reminded me of my childhood. I hoped that I would have some time in between experiments to peruse the beautifully bound volumes that lined practically every shelf in the room.

After Clarence's housekeeper, and I assumed feeder, Dorothy had shown Sonya and me around the house, we were left to our own devices. Sonya had insisted that we go to bed, that way we could get up early and begin our research. I admired her dedication to the cause, and her positive outlook gave me hope, something I was in short supply of these days.

So, despite the fact that I wasn't that tired, I made my way toward the bedroom I would be sleeping in for the remainder of my stay. Like the rest of Clarence's home, the bedroom was warm and inviting. The floors were a dark cherry wood, the walls were painted a forest green color, and all of the furniture was polished and sleek.

Once I unpacked my meager belongings, I sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly anxious and unsure of what to do with myself. I debated whether or not I wanted to grab one of the various novels that I had brought along with me, but decided that what I wanted, more than anything, was to talk to Rose. I pulled out my phone and dialed the numbers that I knew by heart. The phone rang and rang, and to my surprise, I was eventually sent to her voicemail.

I frowned. _Had something happened?_

A million different scenarios began running through my head. I hadn't spoken to her since we had stood together in the Court's parking garage. What if they had car trouble? What if they had never made it back to Lehigh? What if there had been another attack?

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. It had been less than a day and already I found myself worrying about Rose. I knew I probably had no reason to. She was one of the most capable guardians I had ever met.

My phone began buzzing, jarring my from my dark thoughts. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that it was Rose.

"Roza?" I said after only one ring.

"Dimitri," came her reply.

The sound of my name on her lips made my chest ache. I wondered if it was too late to catch a ride back to Pennsylvania.

"How is California?" she asked me excitedly.

"I've been here less than day," I told her with a giant grin plastered across my face.

"So? How is it? Have you talked to Jill? How is Sydney?" she asked me breathlessly.

"Jill is fine. Sydney is too," I told her.

"I need details, comrade," she said exasperatedly.

I could picture her expression perfectly in my mind.

The thought made me laugh, "So far, I've only met with Sydney, and…" the laugh fell away as I thought about my brief interaction with Adrian, or my lack thereof.

"And?" She asked impatiently.

"Adrian," I said at last.

"Oh, how is he?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I think he was doing okay."

"What do you mean was?"

"I don't think he was very happy to see me." I also thought that was putting it mildly.

She paused for a moment before answering. "He shouldn't be upset with you. I'm the one who hurt him."

I didn't think that was entirely true. I had sworn to Rose that I would never interfere with another man's girlfriend, but when I think back to that day in the motel, to the way she had been looking at me, and to the way she had told me that she had been made for me…I hadn't been able to control myself. I had wanted her…needed her.

"That doesn't make me completely blameless, Roza."

"I know," she said, a little frustrated.

"I think he'll come around," I told her reassuringly, I almost believed it myself when I thought back to how he acted around Sydney."Its funny, you should see the way he lights up around Sydney."

"Wait, what?"

I chuckled, "I know, I haven't been here that long, but something about the way he looks at her…"

"Ha ha, very funny, Dimitri," she said disbelievingly, then she let out what I thought was a very unladylike curse under her breath.

"Is something wrong?" I asked urgently.

"No…I just have to go, but I can call you when I get back to the apartment?"

"Whatever you want to do, Roza," and I meant it.

"I love you."

Those words never failed to set my skin on fire.

"I love you too," I told her, hoping that my voice conveyed just how deeply that love ran. "so much."

I decided to read until Rose called me back, but that call never came. Instead, she sent me a text message telling me that she and Lissa were going to try and get some school work done and that she would call me the next day. The surprise I felt at the idea of her willingly participating in a school related activity almost trumped my disappointment.

Despite the fact that it was barely dark outside here in Palm Springs, I could feel exhaustion creeping over me. My body and mind usually adapted well enough to schedule changes. I had trained myself long ago to be able to slip in and out of sleep easily. I climbed into the bed and stretched out my limbs as far as they would go. Most beds didn't really accommodate my 6'7" frame very easily, but I was pleasantly surprised when I was able to unfold my body completely. Something still felt wrong though.

It was Rose, I realized. Or more the fact that she wasn't here. I had grown so used to feeling her lying next to me, to hearing her steady breathing, warmth radiating from her. Despite the fact that she liked to sleep in the middle of the bed, or that she would occasionally kick me, I would have given anything to have a sleeping Roza next to me.

I closed my eyes and steadied my breath. I concentrated on keeping my body still, willing myself to fall asleep. It worked for the most part, I only awoke three times during the night. Each time I checked my cell phone, just in case.

The fourth time I woke up, it was to the sounds of some one in the kitchen, I could also faintly smell the aromas of breakfast wafting through the house. I dressed quickly in jeans and a T-shirt, and after brief deliberation, I donned my duster as well. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail at the nape of my neck as I walked down the corridor and down the sweeping staircase. I found Sonya sitting in the parlor perched on the edge of one of the leather sofas, a mug of coffee in one hand, and a sheet of paper in the other.

"Good morning," she said cheerfully. "I was thinking that perhaps we could head over to Adrian's later and talk about where to start?"

I tried not to grimace. I knew going over to Adrian's was unavoidable, but a part of me just wanted to stay away from him. Rose had told me how much we'd hurt him, I felt like I was intruding on his healing process. The other part of me felt like maybe we could move past what had happened if we could just talk about it, man to man.

"Sure," I said, trying to mimic her cheerful attitude.

Dorothy brought in our breakfast on two silver trays and we ate in contended silence.

After breakfast we headed over to Adrian's. We parked on the street and made our way to his front door. I knocked once, and nothing happened. I tried knocking again, a little more forcefully. Still nothing.

"We should probably get keys made if this is where we will be conducting most of our research," I told Sonya.

Before she could respond, the door swung open violently.

"What the hell do –"

His words cut off abruptly as he stared at us through bloodshot eyes. His hair was a mess, but not in his carefully styled way and his clothes were rumpled.

"Adrian," said Sonya softly. "Can we come in?"

He let out a long, drawn out sigh, and as if realizing he didn't really have a choice, stepped aside to let us in. When I walked last him, the smell of alcohol practically slapped me in the face. I looked down and realized he clutched a mostly empty bottle of gin in one hand. He hadn't even bothered to set it down to answer the door.

Sonya made herself comfortable at the dining room table and began spreading out some of the research she had already gathered. Adrian stumbled over to the table, his shoulder brushing mine as he did. I wasn't sure if it had been intentional, but decided to let it go. He pulled out a chair and flipped it around, straddling it so that his chin rested on its back. He brought the bottle up to his lips and drank deeply.

"Adrian," started Sonya again. "You'll need to be sober for these experiments to work."

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I didn't realize they would be starting so soon."

"I told you last night," said Sonya pointedly. "Before I left?"

"No idea what you're talking about," came his slurred response.

I was used to Adrian's behavior, and for the most part, he usually wasn't hurting anyone but himself. But now, he was jeopardizing our research, the research that had brought me all the way out here. I decided to say something, it didn't matter how much he hated me, we would both need to be professionals if these experiments were to have any chance of succeeding.

"This can't happen again," I said gesturing to the empty bottle that now dangled from his fingertips. "You can't participate if you can barely form a coherent thought."

He looked at me in shock for a moment, but then anger flashed over his features.

"Why do you even need me to participate," he spat. "Who needs sad, pathetic Adrian Ivashkov when we have the amazing Dimitri Belikov? What can Adrian do?"

Sonya and I sat in stunned silence.

"Nothing," he said bitterly. "I can't do anything, and no one needs me."

I realized then that he wasn't talking about the experiments any more.

Adrian stood up and swayed slightly on his feet, the bottling slipping from his grasp and shattering on the ground. He barely noticed. He shot me a disgusted look before turning and walking toward the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Rose – _**

Despite the fact that I had just spent the last few hours at a gym, I found myself running up the three flights of stairs that led to mine and Lissa's apartment. I pulled out my cellphone as I flung open the front door, eager to call Dimitri back, but an uneasy feeling came over me as I stepped inside. I sniffed the air, something smelled like it was burning.

"Lissa?" I called, shoving my cellphone into my gym bag. "Liss, where are you?"

My heart rate had started to pick up and the adrenaline still left over from my training session was coursing through my veins in full force. I unzipped my gym bag and pulled out my silver stake, my thumb brushing over the familiar carvings on its hilt. I set down my duffel and crouched into a defensive position, moving silently into the living room. The only thing that seemed different was a cloud of smoke that lingered near the doorway that led into the kitchen.

"Rose?"

I let out a sigh of relief at the sound of Lissa's voice. I slipped the stake into the waistband of my track pants and made my way into the kitchen. My heart sank at the sight of Lissa huddled on the floor next to the stove. She had her arms wrapped around her knees. Her green eyes darted to where I stood in the doorway, a single tear sliding down her cheek. Before I could go to her, I needed to find the source of the smoke. I noticed then that there was a pan on the stove, and that the stovetop was still on. I rushed forward and looked down into the pan. Whatever it had been, it was now burnt to a crisp and smelled awful. The scent was cloying and I wondered how long Lissa had been sitting here, inhaling the fumes. After turning the knob on the stove into the off position, I grabbed the handle of the pan, but winced and pulled back my hand as soon as I made contact with the plastic covering. It was practically melted.

I stuck my thumb in my mouth, nursing my burn. With the other hand, I retrieved my stake and used it to tap the pan until it was off of the burner. Stakes weren't just good for killing Strigoi.

"Lissa," I said, turning to crouch beside her. "What happened? What are you doing down here?"

She didn't answer for a long time. She just sat there, trembling. I didn't want to push her, so I took her silence as an opportunity to assess her condition. Lissa still had her thin arms wrapped around her knees, but in her right hand, she clutched a silver spoon. She was holding onto it so tightly that her knuckles had since turned white. I reached forward, ready to pry it out of her hands, but she pulled away from me violently.

"No! Don't touch it," she begged, her eyes staring into mine pleadingly.

"Fine, you can keep your…cutlery," I said, getting into a more comfortable position on the tiled floor. I had a feeling I might be down here for a while. "Are you at least going to tell me what happened?"

She tucked away a few wayward strands of silvery hair, peering at me out of the corner of her eye. "It's embarrassing," she told me as she let out a sniffle.

"So?" I said nudging her with my elbow. "This is me we're talking about, Liss, you know you can tell me anything."

She looked over at me with watery eyes. "I was trying to make dinner, and I burned myself…"

I decided not to mention that she almost burned the apartment down too.

"Are you okay? Where did you burn yourself?"

"It was my hand…and it was all red and blistered and I knew I wouldn't be able to write that well with it, so I decided to make a healing charm…"

That explained the spoon part.

"And something went wrong, I don't know what happened…I used this spoon," she said, waving it around in front of me. "And as soon as I touched…I felt so lost and so sad…"

I looked up from where I sat on the floor and reached for the decorative dish towel that hung on one of the cabinet doors. I unfolded it and held it out to her.

"Drop it," I told her sternly.

She hesitated at first, like she didn't want to let go of the little spoon, like it was all that sustained her. She finally relinquished the spoon, and I folded it up in the towel.

"Better?" I asked.

She nodded, the hint of a smile on her face. "I just wanted to do something nice for you, I thought I could cook you a nice dinner or something."

I squeezed her arm affectionately, "I appreciate the effort, but you didn't have to do that. You could have just stuck a pizza in the microwave. I'm the girl who put ketchup on a taco, remember?"

Her fledgling smile was now in full bloom. "That was gross."

I just shrugged.

"Come on," I said, deciding I had had enough of sitting on the floor of our kitchen. "Let's get you cleaned up." I reached out a hand and she took it gingerly.

After hoisting lissa to her feet, I walked with her to her bedroom.

"Rose?" she said turning to me. "Would you mind staying with me tonight…I don't really want to be alone."

"Of course, just give me one second."

I headed back into the living room where I had deposited my gym bag. I fished around in it before withdrawing my cell phone. I sent Dimitri a text, letting him know I couldn't call him tonight. I told him it was because we were going to get some school work done. I felt bad lying to him, but he had enough to worry about without having to add enchanted spoons, teetering spirit users, and narrowly avoiding house fires to the list.

I let out a disappointed sigh as I thought about how the distance was already affecting my relationship with Dimitri. It had only been a day, and even though this is time we would have spent apart anyways, the idea of him being on the other side of the country made me feel like we were already grasping at stolen moments, trying to carve out pockets of time just so that we could talk to each other on the phone.

But Lissa needed me to take care of her right now, and the rest of the Moroi world needed Dimitri to participate in the Strigoi cure research. They come first I guess.

…

The rest of the week passed uneventfully; no more spirit-related incidents, and Lissa and I decided that we would rather eat TV dinners and junk food than cook for ourselves. I'm sure Christian would freak out if he knew Lissa was surviving off of such poor cuisine, he's such a housewife sometimes.

I spent my days struggling to stay awake during lectures, and I spent my nights staring at my cellphone, willing it to ring. When Friday finally rolled around, I was surprised to find that the prospect of driving back to Court didn't thrill me in the same way that it once had. I was actually kind of dreading going back. At least my bedroom at Lehigh didn't remind me of Dimitri: my sheets didn't smell like his aftershave, his clothes didn't hang next to mine in the closet, and there was no stupid alarm clock. I knew it was bad when I found myself missing that antique contraption.

The drive back to Court was as long as ever, and the feeling of dread I felt in my chest increased with every mile. To make matters worse, we would be arriving right as the vampiric day was getting started, and Lissa had a council meeting scheduled. She had offered to let me skip it, so that I could get some much-needed rest, but I had turned her down. My willingness to forgo sleep had stunned Lissa, but she hadn't questioned my motives. The truth was, I was avoiding my bedroom – our bedroom. I think Lissa could sense my unease, my aura probably looked like a storm cloud. It certainly felt like I had one hanging over me.

On today's agenda, the Quorum Law. Normally I tried to tune out these counsel meetings, they usually either bored me to tears, or made me angry. But today, I couldn't help but feel more invested in the matter than ever. If Lissa could get that ridiculous law that required the monarch to have at least one living family member changed, then Jill could come home. There wouldn't be any reason for anyone to be in Palm Springs any more. Dimitri could come home too. If only it was that simple though.

"The Quorum Law has been a part of the Moroi Code since it's inception, you are asking us to undo centuries of tradition," said Nathan Ivashkov.

"I am asking you to see reason," said Lissa. "I'm asking you to help me keep a 16 year-old girl safe."

"Are you worried about the girl? Or about your throne, your majesty?"

The tiny fire that I seen kindling in Lissa's eyes throughout the discussion flared to life at Nathan's insinuation.

"Get out," said Lissa, voice full of venom.

"Excuse me?" sneered Nathan.

"You look tired, I wouldn't want you to strain yourself, especially in your old age."

To Nathan's credit, he actually managed to stay composed as he stood up abruptly from his plush seat at the council table. He glared at Lissa, and stormed out of the room. I couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as he walked past me.

Lissa took a deep breath, and then continued with her plight. "The Moroi world was built on tradition. Some traditions were created to withstand the test of time, they are adaptable, they are fluid. The Quorum Law is not one of those traditions. I do not think our ancestors could have foreseen this situation, because surely they would not have written a law that endangers the lives of its people. I am not trying to uproot the system and turn it on its head. I am trying to preserve it, and this small change will do just that."

The other council members were staring at Lissa in rapture, and I had forgotten just how persuasive and charismatic Lissa could be when she wanted to. Perhaps there were tiny tendrils of spirit woven into her words, but it wasn't enough to raise anyone's alarm. Pride swelled within me. She could do this.

Some of the council members murmured their agreement, some of the older ones seemed to have broken free of Lissa's spell and still wore skeptical expressions.

"I think that's enough for today," said Lissa, fighting to keep the impatience I knew she felt from infringing on her tone.

The other Moroi trickled out of the room while Lissa remained seated at the head of the ornate table, rubbing her temples with the tips of her delicate fingers. She looked up at my approach and gave me a tight smile.

"You should go to bed," she told me. "You look tired."

"You're one to talk," I said placing my hands on my hips. "Come on, we could both use some rest."

She let out a long breath, and then slumped back into her chair. "No, I have to meet with Ariana and Christian to talk about the Moroi fighting program. You go," she said waving me away with her hand.

"Suit yourself," I said as I shrugged my shoulders.

I turned on my heel and sauntered out of the room, not wanting to betray the emotions at war with in me. I was tired, I did want to rest, but I wasn't ready to face my empty apartment. Instead, I slipped my hand into my pocket and after dialing, raised it to my ear.

"Roza?"

My heart nearly leapt out of my chest at the sound of my name on his lips, but again I was torn. His voice enveloped me like a caress, but it also reminded me of what my name tasted like when he whispered it in the throes of ecstasy. God I missed him.

"Hey there, Comrade," I said as cheerfully as possible. "

"I take it you made it back to Court safely?"

"Yeah, just in time for a council meeting," I said as I strolled across the lush green lawns of Court.

"Is Lissa any closer to changing the law?" Dimitri asked, sounding hopeful.

"A little. She would probably get more done if Nathan wasn't such an ass."

"She's not the only one who would benefit from that."

It took me a moment to figure out what he was trying to get at.

"How is Adrian?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

Dimitri didn't say anything at first. I could just picture him running a hand through his long, dark hair as he pondered his words. When he was done, his hair would fall forward and frame his face perfectly.

"He's…troubled," he started. "Sonya and I have been over to his apartment everyday this week, trying to form some kind of plan, but he hasn't been the most willing participant."

I could tell that Adrian wasn't the only one who was troubled.

"Maybe you could talk to him?" I offered.

"I don't think that's a good idea, at least for right now."

"I'm sorry," I told him, not really knowing what else to say.

"I was going to ask Sonya to speak with him tomorrow, perhaps she would have an easier time getting through to him."

"That's a good idea," I said as I waved to one of the guardians posted outside of palace housing.

"Enough about Adrian," he said after a moment of silence. "How are you, Roza?"

"I'm okay," I said in a small voice.

"That wasn't very convincing."

"I just miss you."

"I miss you too."

I had reached the door to our apartment, but I couldn't bring myself to open it, so I just stood there.

"I didn't think it would be this hard," I told him, trying not to sound as sad as I was.

He let out a sigh, "No, I don't think we were really prepared for something like this."

"That's an understatement," I said staring at the brass knob, yawning,

"How long have you been awake?"

"Not that long," I told him, trying to sound chipper, but in truth, I was exhausted.

"You need to get some sleep, Roza, and I need to talk to Sonya."

"Okay, will you call me when you get the chance?" I asked, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice. "I don't care what time it is, just call, okay?"

"I promise. I love you, Roza."

"I love you too."

I ended the call and slid my phone into my pocket.

_Now or never,_ I told myself.

I opened the door, and was surprised to find that everything was exactly as we had left it. I'm not actually sure what I was expecting to find. Maybe for shelves and the walls to be empty, maybe a little dust, but no, it was the same. I walked slowly into the bedroom, my fingertips running along the walls as I did. I braced myself before stepping through the door.

Dimitri had made the bed before he'd left.

_Of course he did._

I wasn't ready to face the empty bed, instead I found myself standing in our closet. I inhaled deeply and closed my eyes. He was here, his scent was everywhere. It clung to the shirts he had left behind and lingered in the air. I pulled a sweater off of the hanger and pulled it over me, slumping to the ground after I did. It was almost like he was here. Almost.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Dimitri – _**

"Wake up, Comrade."

My eyelids fluttered open, and it took me a moment to register where I was. I could sense the familiar feel of mine and Roza's sheets beneath me, and I could smell the lavender fabric softener she liked to use. It was almost overpowering, but I knew that was because she didn't bother to measure the liquid before dumping it into the machine. I let my gaze fall on the other details of the room. There, on the table sat the antique alarm clock that I had found in a consignment shop. I thought it was charming, but I knew that Roza loathed it. The drawers of Roza's chest were all open and clothing spilled over its edges. Despite my need for order, I found myself smiling at the familiar sight.

I felt my breath hitch as my eyes finally fell on the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Roza was laying in the bed next to me. She was on her side, propped up on one elbow, and she was smiling at me. To me, Roza always looked beautiful. Even after training sessions when her clothes were soaked through and her cheeks were flushed from exertion, maybe I even preferred her that way. But despite my constant awareness of her beauty, she had never been more breathtaking than she was right now. Maybe it was the way her dark hair spilled over one shoulder or the way the light from the window behind our bed illuminated her features. Whatever it was, it overwhelmed me and I struggled to keep my breathing under control.

"What are you staring at, Comrade?" she teased.

I barely heard her words, I was too distracted by her lips and how seductive they were even when they were doing something as simple as forming a sentence.

"You," I breathed. "You're like an angel."

She rolled her eyes and looked down at the sheets, but she smiled anyways and flushed a lovely shade of pink. I hadn't thought it possible, but it made her that much more alluring.

"Come here," I told her as I reached out one hand to stroke her cheek. Her skin was like silk beneath my fingers.

She looked up at me through her lashes and her eyes conveyed a million different emotions – there was a fiery passion, but there was also love, so much love.

She wiggled closer to me and pressed her body against mine, we fit together like puzzle pieces. I couldn't take it any longer – I wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her even closer to me. Our lips met in a hungry kiss, the kind of kiss that left you gasping for breath, the kind that set your whole body on fire and threatened to consume you. Being with Roza was like coming up for air, like I had been suffocating, and she had been the one to breathe life into me.

I needed her with me, _why had I left her?_

That's when it hit me…_this isn't real_.

I felt her shift beneath me, and soon Roza and the rest of the room faded completely.

This time when my eyes opened, I wasn't greeted with a warm smile from the woman I loved. I was staring at the vaulted ceilings of my bedroom in Palm Springs.

_A dream, it had all been a dream._

Even though it hadn't been real, my physical reaction to the image of Roza lying next to me was very real. I sat up in the bed and let out a groan. This day was going to be a long one, and I would need to start it off with a cold shower.

…

I found Sonya sitting downstairs in the parlor, a glass of water in her hand. She was dressed in a T-shirt and jean shorts, both were covered with dirt. When Sonya wasn't pouring over books and articles, she liked to spend her time nursing Clarence's ailing garden back to life. It usually left her sweaty and a little sunburnt.

"We should pick up some sunscreen on our way back from Adrian's," I told her, sitting down in a sleek leather arm chair.

She smiled at my words, "You're probably right, but nothing too crazy. I think I like the idea of getting a tan before the wedding."

"Any luck on securing the venue?"

For the past few days, Sonya had been playing phone tag with the owners of a greenhouse back in Pennsylvania.

She shook her head. "I left them another message this morning. I'm getting a little worried though, I may just have Mikhail drive down there if he can get some time off."

"That's not a bad idea," I told her thoughtfully.

"My wedding venue isn't what's bothering you though," she told me as she fixed me with a concerned look.

"Excuse me?" I asked, a little stunned at her quick change in subject.

"You're aura…it's troubled. What's wrong?"

I knew that Sonya could probably relate to my situation better than anyone, in more ways than one. But I decided that talking about how much I missed Roza wouldn't make the feelings go away. So I decided that I would talk to her about another topic that had been weighing heavily on my mind.

"Well," I started. "Now that you mention it…I was hoping that you might talk to Adrian."

She closed her laptop and began studying me. I kept my expression trained to guardian neutrality, but I knew I probably wasn't fooling her.

"I see," she paused to ponder my request. "May I ask what about?"

"His drinking habits," I said bluntly. "We've gotten off to a slow start – "

"And you think Adrian is to blame?" Her tone wasn't accusatory, but I still felt flustered by her question.

"I don't blame him for our progress, or I guess lack thereof, but he isn't participating. Not in the way that he could be."

Sonya let out a sigh, and I knew that she had to agree with me on some level. We had gone to Adrian's everyday this week, and we had yet to accomplish anything. Sonya thought that we should start by conducting aura observations. Since I couldn't see auras, my participation was limited to sitting still for hours on end while Sonya and Adrian squinted their eyes in my general direction. Adrian was usually either too drunk to use spirit, or would spend the duration of our time together complaining about how this wasn't getting us anywhere.

"Dimitri, I know how dedicated you are to our research, and that Adrian's behavior can be…frustrating," said Sonya in a gentle voice, "but I can't do what you're asking me to do."

Her refusal caught me a little off guard, "Why not?"

I had been so certain that she would agree to have a talk with Adrian, especially if it meant that we could get more work done and maybe get back to Court sooner.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat before answering. "Have you ever thought about why Adrian acts the way that he does?"

"It's a coping mechanism."

"That's right," she said uneasily. "But I don't think you fully understand what he is actually coping with."

"I know Adrian is still hurting, but that doesn't mean he needs to drown his sorrows in a bottle of gin, it isn't healthy."

"There are worse things he could do." Sonya's voice was barely a whisper. "Adrian is hurting yes, but he's also drowning."

"Drowning?" I asked skeptically.

She fixed me with a serious look. "Spirit is a very complicated magic. It is capable of producing miracles, you and I are living proof, but those miracles come at a cost. The negative side-effects of using Spirit can leave a person feeling empty, or overwhelmed, or make them feel everything at once."

I knew exactly what Sonya was referring to, I had seen first hand what kind of a toll Spirit could take on the mind. I had seen it in the scars on Vasilisa's wrists, and in Rose's eyes the day she had attacked Jesse, the day in the cabin…I had been so scared then, so scared that I would lose her to the darkness.

"Adrian's methods are unorthodox," she conceded. "But they're better than the alternative…"

"Sonya…" I said, finally realizing what she had been trying to tell me.

"Do you get it now?" She asked, her eyes glossed over with unshed tears. "Adrian might drink and smoke in excess, but he's still stronger than I was."

I hated myself for never considering what my criticisms of Adrian would do to Sonya. Sonya's own methods for dealing with Spirit had been more extreme than drinking. She wanted to find a way to cut herself off from the magic entirely, and so she had chosen to become Strigoi.

"Sonya, I am so sorry," I told her, moving onto the couch next to her. "No one blames you for what happened."

"No ones blames me?" She asked with a sad laugh. "Of course they blame me, how could they not? I was such a coward then."

I reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder. She smiled at my gesture, and I hoped that she was actually comforted by it.

"Sonya, what happened to you isn't your fault. You were scared and alone, you did what you thought you had to do."

She nodded stiffly, but I could tell she probably didn't believe a word of what I'd said.

"That was the past," she said bitterly. "I can't change what I did, but maybe I can find a way to make sure that no one makes the same mistakes that I did."

I offered her a genuine smile, "Not maybe, you can do this, and I will do whatever it takes to help you."

"Let's hope Eddie Castile has a similar disposition."

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Eddie, I think it would help if we had a control subject. We could compare his aura to yours and see of there are any differences."

"I'm sure Eddie would be more than willing to help."

I knew Eddie would do whatever we asked of him and I told Sonya that I would call Sydney and arrange for them to meet us at Adrian's after classes ended at Amberwood. Sonya seemed grateful that we were no longer discussing her past, and so I let the conversation taper off.

…

A few hours later I found myself seated once more on Adrian's ridiculous plaid couch, but this time I wasn't alone. Eddie Castile sat next to me, a blank expression that rivaled my own on his face. Sonya and Adrian had been studying our auras for the last two hours, only pausing to make notes or to consult with one another. Much to my surprise – and relief – he was sober and was making more of an effort to participate. We finally decided to take a break, for which I was grateful. My back and shoulders were tense from sitting still for as long as I had.

"Adrian," I heard Sydney call from the kitchen "Don't you have any diet soda?"

Adrian lit up and stood from where he had been sitting with Sonya at the kitchen table. "Sage, you know I can't afford such luxuries."

I decided to follow him into the kitchen, hoping to maybe scrounge up something to eat. Sydney was bent over in front of the open refrigerator and was rifling through it. She stood up when Adrian walked in and offered him a small smile.

"You know I can't drink this stuff," she said holding up a can of coke. "It's loaded with calories."

Adrian smirked and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I guess I could make an exception for you."

She eyed him, "Promise?"

"Promise," said Adrian, sounding elated at the idea of doing something for Sydney

They stared at each other for a moment, but the spell was broken when Sydney's phone. She pulled her phone from her pocket and visibly flinched when she looked at the screen.

"Excuse me," she said in a polite tone. "I need to take this."

She walked out, leaving me alone with Adrian. He cleared his throat loudly.

"So…your aura was very…colorful today," he said deadpan.

I wasn't sure how to respond to Adrian's comment. "Thank you," I finally told him.

He laughed and then sauntered out of the room. Despite how uncomfortable I was, I suppose that what had just transpired was actually one of our more civil interactions. I ran a hand through my hair and decided that I wasn't actually hungry.

I walked back into the living room just as Sydney was closing the front door behind her. She looked troubled, and I wasn't the only one who thought so.

"What's wrong?" Asked Eddie, jumping to his feet. "Is Jill okay."

"She's fine," said Sydney, waving him off "That was Stanton, my boss."

"And?" Asked Adrian, his voice a little on edge.

"It's nothing," she said shaking her head. "She just wants me to visit an alchemist facility next weekend."

That didn't seem like nothing to me, "Are you sure nothing is wrong?"

"Im sure, I'll just need to make arrangement for everyone's transportation."

"You know," said Eddie, "You could just leave me the keys to the car."

Sydney scoffed, "How do I know I can trust you with Latte?"

"Latte?" I asked, a little confused as to how we had made the leap from transportation to coffee.

"Sage likes to name her cars," said Adrian, so amused by what he was saying that he must have forgotten who he was talking to.

"Sydney, I promise that Latte will be returned to you in the same condition that you leave it, better even," said Eddie with a smile on good natured face.

Sydney couldn't help but smile back, "Maybe."

"I hate to interrupt," chimed Sonya, "but I have a few more things I'd like to try if there's time."

Eddie and I nodded and returned to our seats on the couch. Adrian let out a sigh and wondered back over to join Sonya. The ache in my back returned the same moment I sat down, but I knew my discomfort was a paltry thing compared to what we might accomplish. I was used to making sacrifices, and this was a small one as far as I was concerned.

The universe must have been in a foul mood today, because my phone rang about ten minutes into the experiment. Rose's name popped up on the caller ID, reminding me of the bigger sacrifices that I was currently making. I let out a sigh and slipped the phone back into my pocket. Some sacrifices are bigger than others, I just hoped that they would all be worth it in the end.

**Hey guys, sorry about the late update. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and we broke up a few days ago. Sometimes I feel like writing, sometimes I feel like laying facedown on the floor, so the updates might not come as quickly as they have in the past. Anyways, leave me a review and let me know what you think.**


	6. Chapter 6

**_Rose – _**

I would be lying if I said that Dimitri ignoring my phone calls last night didn't hurt me. He was probably busy, I know that, participating in some groundbreaking experiment with the potential to change to Moroi world forever. Not surprisingly though, the notion that his research was more important than talking to me did nothing to soothe the dull ache in my chest. After the call had been sent to voicemail, I had spent the rest of the night tossing and turning in my bed at Lehigh. When I had finally drifted off into sleep, it had not been fitful.

My restless night had left me feeling drained, and as I sat in one of Lehigh's expansive lecture halls, I found myself struggling to keep my head up right. I decided that whatever the professor was talking about could wait. I propped my head up in one hand, and held a pencil loosely with the other. I wasn't sure if my attempt at pretending to take notes was convincing, but I didn't really care at this point. My eyelids were heavy and every time I closed them to blink, they would stay shut just a moment longer than they had before. This pattern continued until my eyes didn't reopen and I drifted off into oblivion.

My sleep was only blissful for a few sweet, agonizingly short moments though. Soon I felt the familiar feeling of being pulled into a spirit dream. My heart was thundering in my chest and I prayed for the first time that when the dream materialized, I would be standing on a beach, wearing a bikini and staring at Adrian's lazy smile. I waited, bracing myself for what I would find. My eyes were open, but there was nothing to see. I was surrounded by a thick, inky darkness. I groped around in the black, trying to get a sense of where I was. I felt nothing but air between my fingers as I held them out in front of me. The locket that Lissa had given me began to burn, searing the skin of my neck. My hands threw to my throat and I clawed at the delicate chain, but it was no use, I couldn't yank the necklace free. I was helpless as it branded me. I wanted to scream but when I opened my mouth, all that escaped was a choked sob. The air that I inhaled felt toxic and burned as I sucked it down.

I felt two hands grip my shoulders, they were small but firm. They shook me and I could hear some one calling out to me, though their voice seemed to be far away. It was a girl's voice and it was laced with desperation.

"Rose!" I heard the girl shriek, "Rose wake up!"

My eyes fluttered opened and I found myself staring up into a pair of jade green eyes, glossed over with unshed tears. I gasped for breath, relishing the feel of the cool air as it seeped into my lungs. My hand was still clenched around the locket that hung at my throat, but now the only thing causing it to stick to my chest was the cold sweat that coated my entire body.

"Thank god," Lissa breathed, as I propped myself up on my elbows.

I glanced around and realized that not only was I laying on the scratchy carpet of the lecture hall, I was surrounded by my classmates. Some stared at me, their eyes wide with concern, others had pulled their phones out and were snapping photos of me.

"Move please," came the agitated voice of my professor as he bustled his way past the others. "What's going on here? Do I need to call 911?" He sounded more annoyed than worried.

Lissa's eyes swept over me as I clambered to my feet. She reached out a hand to help steady me but I brushed her off. She turned her gaze on our professor who had placed his hands on his hips and was tapping one foot impatiently.

"Is something wrong with her?" he asked.

Lissa tilted her head to speak, "Everything is fine, Rose has low blood sugar, that's all. She needs to be excused." Lissa's tone was so calm it was almost scary.

"Of course," came my professor's response. His words felt empty, there was none of the contempt he had displayed earlier.

Lissa whirled around and grabbed her backpack with one hand and my wrist with the other. She began to drag me out of the room, and I barely had time to grab my own things. She shouldered past everyone with surprising force, never letting go of me as she wove her way through the crowd. We burst through the doors of the classroom, and we had barely crossed the threshold before we were accosted by Mynor and the other guardians.

"Your majesty," came Mynor's gentle but stern voice. "Are you alright? Guardian Hames reported that there was a disturbance in the classroom."

"I'm fine," said Lissa, releasing my wrist to wave him off. "Some girl fainted in the middle of the lecture and everyone started to panic...Rose thought it would be better if we left," she added as an afterthought.

Mynor's gaze fell on me, and I hoped that the apprehension I felt would remain hidden behind my guardian mask.

"We should get you back to the apartment," said Mynor, his eyes flicking back to Lissa.

"Yeah," said Lissa. "Good idea."

She shot me a meaningful look as she began walking out of the building. It took a few moments for my short Dhampir legs to catch up with her longer Moroi ones.

"Slow down," I told her as we made our way across the campus.

Lissa didn't respond, instead she threw her head over one shoulder, making sure that Mynor and the other guardians had fanned out. A few of them were walking a little more closely than they usually did, but none of them were in earshot.

"What was that back there?" She finally asked. "One second you're snoring and the next thing I know, you're laying on the ground tearing at your throat."

"Bad dream," I mumbled. "And I do not snore."

She turned her head to stare at me incredulously, "What kind of bad dream?"

"I don't know" I told her in a small voice. "It felt like a spirit dream, only it wasn't – well not any spirit dream that I've ever experienced."

Lissa tensed at my words, "That's impossible," she hissed. "You're wearing the charm I made you, no one should be able to contact you in a dream."

I brought my hands up to fumble with the locket that dangled on the silver chain around my neck, I could feel the phantom pain of where it had burned me. "I don't know what to tell you, Liss, maybe the magic is fading. That can happen, right?"

She paused for a moment and scrunched her eyebrows together in deep thought. "Yes," she finally said. "I just didn't think it would happen so soon."

She sounded troubled, and I knew that if she thought I was in danger, it would stress her out more than she already was. "It's not a big deal. I didn't see Robert, if that's what you're thinking. So the charm is still working…kind of."

"Kind of?" she repeated in disbelief. "Rose, you didn't see what I did, you were…terrified. I've never seen you look that scared."

We were almost to the parking garage when I stopped and turned to look at her. "Look, I don't know what happened, but I'm not hurt. We can talk about this when I get back."

"Why do you sound like you're leaving?"

"Because I am, I need to go to the gym or something…it'll help me clear my head."

"Rose," she said exasperatedly. "You fell asleep sitting up in your chair not ten minutes ago, now you're telling me you want to go to the gym?"

She had a point. Before, all I had wanted was to curl up in a ball beneath my sheets, now all I wanted was to punch something.

I shrugged my shoulders in mock indifference, "I just need to blow off some steam, it'll probably help me sleep better anyways."

"I don't like it," she said, shooting daggers at me.

"You don't need to."

She opened her mouth to protest, but by then, the other guardians had arrived.

"Is there a problem?" asked Guardian Hames.

"Nope," I said before Lissa could answer. "I was just telling Lissa that I wanted to hit the gym before dinner."

"That's fine," said Hames. "One of us can pick you up in a couple of hours."

I gave him a wide smile, "Perfect, I'll see you later, Liss."

I started walking away before she decided to pull the Queen card and command me to stay. I had only made it about twenty yards when I heard some one call out to me.

"Hathaway!"

I spun around in time to see Mynor jogging toward me, "I thought I would join you."

I was too shocked to say anything.

"I haven't been able to train much since Vasilisa started at Lehigh."

"Right, gotta stay in shape," was all I managed to stammer out, I felt like an idiot.

He eyed me, and I wondered if his sudden interest in accompanying me to the gym and anything to do with what had happened during my last class.

I turned away and set off at a brisk pace in the direction of the gym. We walked in a comfortable silence across the campus. The sun had started to sink behind the sprawling brick buildings of Lehigh, lighting them up, almost like they were burning. A light breeze ruffled my hair as it blew by. For a moment, I could almost let the soft caress of the wind and the warm kiss of the sun distract me. Almost.

I was almost positive that Robert Doru had tried to pull me into a spirit dream. Only, something had gone wrong. Maybe it was the locket, or maybe it was his unstable magic. Whatever it was, it had saved me from what would have probably been a horrible experience. I shivered at the thought of what had happened the last time Robert had visited me. I was just as uncertain of what to do about him now as I was when I had woken up next to Lissa on our first night in the apartment.

"Hathaway," called Mynor, his voice jarring me from my thoughts.

I wondered how many times he had said my name before he'd gotten my attention.

"They need to swipe your ID."

I hadn't realized that we'd arrived at the gym and that there was a short blonde girl standing behind a desk with her arm outstretched toward me. She was staring at me with piercing blue eyes, an intrigued look on her face.

"Right," I said, rifling through the front pocket of my hoodie.

Eventually my hands found the smooth plastic card and I fished it out to hand over. Mynor did the same, only his ID card said that he was faculty.

"Enjoy," the girl purred as she handed the card back to me, her hand brushing mine as she did.

"Will do," I said, trying not to sound as confused as I was.

I followed Mynor up three flights off stairs, not speaking until after we'd reached the top

"They should invest in an elevator," I told him jokingly.

Mynor raised one eyebrow at me, "I think that would defeat the purpose of going to the gym."

"I'm here to lift weights, I've had enough cardio to last a lifetime," I said, thinking back to all the time I'd spent with Dimitri on the track back at St. Vladimir's.

"Actually," said Mynor. "I thought we could spar."

I looked around and realized that I'd never been on this floor. The walls were lined with tiny rooms, almost like cells. Each was padded and the ones on the far side offered a great view of the campus, thanks to the thick glass that covered one of the four walls of each room.

"Sure," I told him. "Don't worry though, I'll go easy on you."

I wasn't sure, but he let out a sound that could have been a laugh. It also could have been a weird burp, but I decided to go with the former.

We spent the next few hours wailing on each other. Mynor turned out to be a pretty solid fighter. His strategies were mostly defensive, and it took a couple rounds for me to figure out how to get past him. Once I had though, I had been able to take him down.

"You're quick," he said, panting as he tossed me a water bottle.

I caught it and began gulping down the water. "You're old."

This time he did laugh, "Watch it, Hathaway."

I finished off the water and responded with a grin.

We left the private training rooms and made our way back toward the ground floor.

"Ready for some weights?" I asked, even though my body was screaming out for rest.

"No thanks," he told me. "Maybe some other time."

I shrugged, "Suit yourself. I'll see you at the apartment then?"

He nodded and I turned toward the free weights section.

"Wait," he called out before I could walk away. "I've been meaning to tell you for a while now, but…you're doing a good job, Hathaway. You've still got a lot to learn, but you're still…doing a good job," he said again.

"Thank you," I said, hoping my face didn't register any of the surprise I felt. "I appreciate it."

He offered me a small smile and then left the gym without another word.

At first, Mynor's words filled me with pride, but it was immediately replaced by guilt. If I was actually doing a good job, I wouldn't have fallen asleep earlier. I was a bad student, and an even worse guardian. The guilt swirled within me, and then took on another form: fear.

Robert was still out there somewhere, coming up with new and innovative ways to torture me. I was tired, but not to the point of exhaustion where I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. That's the feeling I was after, I didn't want to lie awake, thinking about Robert or about how Dimitri was on the other side of the country. I wanted a deep, uninterrupted, coma-like sleep.

I decided to push myself, lifting more than I probably should have in a gym filled with humans. I was, after all, a 5'7" girl lifting more weight than most of the guys in the room. I didn't care though, because it had achieved the desired affect, I was exhausted.

It took everything I had not to lay down on the sticky padded floor right then and there. I felt like a zombie as I headed toward the exit, but I was cut off by a boy. He was probably the most average looking person I had ever seen in my life. He had light skin, brown hair, and brown eyes. Not one of his features was memorable, and I was confused as to why he had put himself in my path. He stood in front of me, his face tilted to one side.

"Um, excuse you," I told him, trying to sound as annoyed as possible, I was in no mood to deal with him.

"Excuse you, Dhampir."

I blinked back my surprise. "What?"

"That was quite the spectacle," he said, nodding his chin in the direction of the weights. "Very impressive, I especially liked how everyone in here was staring at you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, shouldering past him.

He recoiled at my touch, almost like he was disgusted by it.

"You can't ignore me," he hissed as I walked out of the gym.

I spun around to glare at him "Give me one good reason why."

He turned his cheek toward me, and the moonlight reflected off of it. After my eyes had adjusted to the dark, I was able to see what he had been trying to show me.

A golden lily tattoo.

**I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement. I received one particular review today that really got to me, it reminded me why I do this. I hope you guys liked the chapter, and I'm sorry it took me so long to get it up. I just don't ever want to update for the sake of updating, and I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Dimitri – _**

"Roza, slow down – what do you mean you saw him again?"

She let out an exasperated sigh before answering, "The alchemist guy! The one I told you about last week?"

"Ah," I said, realization dawning on me. "The one from the gym?"

"Yes, the one from the gym," she said, not bothering to mask her annoyance.

Last week, Roza had left me a frantic voicemail, telling me that she had been approached by an alchemist at the end of her workout. When I had called her back, she told me how he had warned her, that she was drawing too much attention to herself. I had tried explaining that she shouldn't have been surprised by the presence of alchemists on Lehigh's campus, and that he was just doing his job. She hadn't taken that very well though, and as punishment, she decided to limit our communication to one word text messages. This phone call was the first time I had heard her voice in a week.

"Roza," I started off slowly, not wanting to say anything to set her off again. "The alchemists are on our side, I don't understand why you're so bothered by him. Sydney's an alchemist, isn't she?"

"She doesn't count," grumbled Rose. "And I asked Mynor, the guardians didn't coordinate with the alchemists on Lissa's protection at Lehigh."

"The alchemists still know she's attending school there though, I'm not surprised at all that they would station an alchemist on sight," I told her, as I sat down on one of the steps outside of Adrian's apartment.

Sonya and I had decided to come here earlier than we usually did to set up for the day's experiments. Adrian hadn't been too pleased, but didn't really have a choice now that we had keys to his apartment.

"I guess you're right," came her reluctant response a few moments later. "Something about him just rubs me the wrong way though, I don't like the guy. He's so boring and calm, he's like a serial killer right before they snap and go on a rampage."

I smiled, but only because I knew she couldn't see me. Roza probably wouldn't appreciate my being amused at her feelings toward some poor human. "Just ignore him," I finally offered.

"Fine," she said, a little distracted. "But there's something else I need to talk to you about."

The apprehension in her voice made me tense up, "What is it?"

She hesitated, and then spoke. "I fell asleep in class the other day,"

"Roza…" I started, ready to chastise her.

"No wait," she cut in. "Just listen. I fell asleep, I know - I'm a bad student and Im wasting this wonderful opportunity and I'm a horrible guardian – but that's not the point."

"I didn't say – "

"I think Robert tried to pull me into a spirit dream."

My blood ran cold at her words. "That's not possible," was all I managed to say.

Vasilisa had made us each a spirit charm to prevent that exact thing from happening. No one, especially Robert Doru, should have been able to contact Roza in a dream.

"He didn't though!" She said. "I think something went wrong."

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration, dislodging my ponytail. "What do you mean went wrong?"

I hated that we were having this conversation on the phone, I should have been there with her. The war in my mind that pitted duty against my personal feelings raged on.

"The dream never fully formed, it was all black…and the locket felt like it was on fire."

"Does Vasilisa know about this?" I asked, remembering how Rose preferred to keep these kinds of incidents to herself.

"Yeah," she said, a tinge of bitterness in her voice. "She was kind of…there."

"In the dream?"

"No, she was sitting next to me. She woke me up."

"What does she think about all of this?"

Rose paused. "She thinks the magic in the locket is fading, she wants to make more, or to at least reinforce the old one." She sounded conflicted at the idea of Vasilisa using spirit to protect her.

"Let me guess," I said, standing up to lean against the front door of Adrian's building. "You won't let her."

"I can't ask her to do that, the magic will keep fading, and she'll just keep making more charms. Using the magic like that, for an extended period of time is dangerous."

It seemed that Spirit, or more specifically, the effects of spirit, was at the root of all my problems lately.

"Rose," I told her sternly. "You have got to stop this – "

A loud beeping noise from my phone interrupted me. I pulled the phone away to glance down at it and saw that I had an incoming call from Eddie.

"What's wrong?" asked Rose.

"Nothing, Eddie's trying to call me, that's all," I told her, not wanting to change the subject. "Rose, promise me you will let Vasilisa help you."

"You should pick up the other line, I have to go anyways," she said, avoiding my request.

"Rose – "

"I'll call you later. Love you, bye!" She spoke so quickly that I was barely able to make out her words.

I pulled the phone away again and stared at in disbelief. I let out a curse before calling Eddie back. He answered on the first ring.

"Guardian Belikov," he said, all business.

"Eddie," I started. "You know you can call me Dimitri."

"Dimitri," he said, sounding like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. "I was calling to let you know that I need to cancel on the experiments today."

I blinked back my surprise, this was not like Eddie, who was fiercely dedicated to our cause. "Is something wrong?"

"No, something came up," he said. "Something I need to take care of."

There was no tension in Eddie's voice, and I had no reason to think he would lie to me. Whatever his reason for skipping the experiments, it was probably a good one. "Okay," I told him. "Be sure to give me a call if anything changes."

"Yes, Guardian Belikov, I'll let you know."

I didn't bother correcting him again. I slipped the phone back into my pocket before returning to Adrian's living room. Sonya sat in her usual spot at the kitchen table, typing away furiously at her laptop. Adrian say next to her and was sifting through some of the papers spread out before him on the table. Sonya's eyes flicked to me and she smiled.

"Was that Rose?"

I shook my head, "That was Eddie, he said he couldn't make it today."

Sonya frowned, "Did he say why?"

Adrian answered before I could "He's probably taken his new found talent of sitting absolutely still for six hours straight else where. Come to think of it…he would make the perfect nude model. I'll have to let a few of my classmates know."

My lips formed into a tight line, "He didn't say."

Sonya brought her hand up to cover what I thought was the ghost of a smile.

Adrian stood up from the table, "I guess that means we're done for today. I for one am heartbroken."

Sonya let out a sigh and then closed her computer. "I should try to give the greenhouse another call."

"God, please, no more wedding talk," said Adrian, bringing his hands up to clutch the sides of his head. "You're fabric swatches are all over my coffee table, by the way."

"Ah," she said, her eyes brightening. "I've been looking for those. What did you think of the purple color?"

Adrian let out a defeated sigh, "It's beautiful."

I pulled out a chair and joined them.

Sonya turned her gaze on me, "Have you seen it?"

I shook my head, "I'm sure Adrian is right though."

He scoffed at my words, "You don't strike me as a purple kind of a guy. I thought you would choose the colors that adorn the flag of Mother Russia!" He puffed out his chest and used a surprisingly convincing Russian accent.

I had made the mistake of telling Sonya about wedding ceremonies in Russia in the presence of Adrian. He had made it his sacred mission to crack jokes on the subject every chance he got. I tried not to glare at him, I would rather Adrian make fun of me than stare daggers at me like he usually did. It seemed like progress to me.

Sonya glanced down at her watch, "Sydney should be back soon."

Adrian perked up at the sound of Sydney's name, "Is she coming here?"

"No," I told him as I stood up from the table. "No experiments today, you're heartbroken about it, remember?"

He narrowed his eyes in a scowl, "Right."

"You're still going to pick her up from the airport, right?" asked Sonya.

"I don't see why not," I said, digging through the pocket of my duster for the keys to the rental car.

"Good," said Sonya. "I can hang out here with Adrian until you get back."

"You can stay," said Adrian as he sauntered over to the couch and flopped down onto it. "But hands off my hair gel, that stuff is expensive."

Sonya rolled her eyes and then waved goodbye to me before padding barefoot into the kitchen.

…

The Palm Springs airport wasn't too crowded when I arrived. I circled the parking lot a few times, keeping my eyes peeled for a petite blonde girl with a golden lily tattoo. On my third loop, I saw her sitting on the curb. Her elbows were propped up on her elbows, and her head was cradled in her hands. I parked in the loading zone and jumped out of the car. Once I had gotten a little closer to where she sat, I saw that her eyes were closed. The sight was almost comical and I tried not to laugh.

"Sydney," I called out to her.

Her lids fluttered open and she sat up a little straighter. She seemed a little confused at first, perhaps trying to recall how she had ended up sleeping outside of an airport. Before she could make a move to stand, I grabbed her suitcase and opened the trunk of the rental with the clicker.

"You don't have to do that," she said, following me to the car.

"Of course I do," I told her with a smile. "You looked like you were asleep."

"I should be so lucky," I heard her mutter before climbing into the passenger seat.

This time I did chuckle as I joined her in the blue rental.

"Thanks for the ride," she said. "I could've called a taxi."

"It's no problem," I told her, as I drove out of the airport parking lot. "Sonya insisted. Besides. No experiments today."

She furrowed her brows together at my words, a frown on her face. "Adrian?" she guessed.

"Partially. We're also missing out control subject. Eddie said he had some conflict and couldn't make it."

Sydney looked troubled. "What conflict could Eddie have? Is Jill okay?" Panic had risen in her voice and she was staring at me with wide eyes.

"She's fine," I assured her. "I'm not sure what's going on, but Eddie wouldn't be away without good reason."

She let out a sigh, "I suppose not," she conceded, though the tension was still there in her words.

"You worry as much as me," I told her. "I didn't think that was possible."

I might have been teasing Sydney, but I meant what I'd said. She was always asking questions, making sure everyone was okay, arranging for their transportation and for their meals. She did all of that, and she never complained.

"It's my job to worry. I always have to make sure everyone's okay."

I glanced over at her, she was obviously exhausted, and I was suddenly partially grateful that the experiments had been cancelled if it meant she could get some well deserved rest. "Sometimes it's not a bad thing to make sure you're okay too. You might find it actually helps others."

She scoffed. "Rose always joked about your 'Zen Master Wisdom.' Am I getting a taste of it?" Now she was teasing me. "If so, I can see why she was helpless against your charms."

I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of Roza explaining to Sydney why she had fallen for me, the thought of her made my heart beat faster. "I think so," I told her, still thinking about Roza. "If you ask her, she'll claim it was the staking and decapitation. But I'm sure it was the Zen wisdom that won her in the end."

Sydney let out a yawn just as I pulled up in front of her dorm at Amberwood Prep.

"Here we are," I said, turning to watch her unbuckle her seatbelt. "You should get some rest."

"I'll try, but I need to find out what's going on with Eddie first." Something about her tone made me think that she wasn't going to rest any time soon.

"If you can find him, you should bring him over tonight, and we can see about getting a little work done. Sonya would love it. She has some new ideas."

She exited the vehicle and then turned to look at me. "I'll see what I can do."

**Hey everyone! So I finally figured out what the They Come First Awards are. You guys are so incredible and I saw that a lot of you nominated my stories, thank you so so much! I think it's a really great idea and I hope that when the polls go up, it will give us all the opportunity to discover some fics we maybe wouldn't have read otherwise. Also, as far as voting goes, if you only plan on voting in one category for whatever reason, make sure it's in the Best Author category, and that it's for Gigi256. Who also deserves the title of Extremely Kind and Always Supportive. Go read her work if you haven't. Okay, end rant.**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Dimitri – _**

"Try typing 'kitten,' into Google, see what pops up."

I raised an eyebrow at Adrian's suggestion.

"Right," he huffed. "I forgot that your idea of a search engine is probably an encyclopedia stapled to the front of an actual engine." His lazy smile told me that he was quite pleased with his own wit.

"Boys," chided Sonya. "We're going to need more than just pictures of kittens for this experiment to work."

Sonya, Adrian, and I had spent the last few hours after I'd dropped Sydney off at Amberwood putting together a slide show of different images for our next experiment.

Adrian leaned back in the wooden chair he was perched on and stared up at the ceiling, "It doesn't matter what you include in that slide show, it's still not going to work."

"Adrian," said Sonya in a voice not unlike one my mother had used with me when I was a child. "I understand where you're coming from, truly I do, but I cant do this on my own. So maybe you could help me out here, as a favor to me?"

Sonya's new tactic for coaxing Adrian into participating in our research was to make him feel more included. She worried that maybe he felt useless and that's why he resented the work.

He let out a heavy sigh, not bothering to tear his eyes away from the ceiling. "Well when you put it like that…"

My cell buzzed from some where on the kitchen table just then. I sifted through all of the papers that were spread haphazardly across it until I found the tiny vibrating phone. My heart sank just a little when I saw that it wasn't Roza who was calling me.

"Sydney," I answered. "Is everything alright?"

"You do worry a lot," she said, sounding slightly amused. "Everything is fine. Eddie and I are on our way over to Adrian's, are you and Sonya still up for getting some work done?"

"Always, how close are you?"

"Ten minutes, maybe fifteen depending on the traffic downtown."

"Then I'll see you both soon."

We said our goodbyes and I snapped the phone shut.

"Good news," I told Adrian and Sonya as I slid the phone into my pocket. "Eddie is on his way over…"

"And Sydney?" Adrian was no longer staring at the ceiling, but at me. "That was her on the phone, right?"

I nodded, "Yes, that was her. She could just be dropping Eddie off though, she looked dead tired when I saw her earlier."

Adrian slumped back into his chair without another word. Sonya, who was sitting beside Adrian at the table glanced over at him, narrowing her eyes to study him. I'd spent enough time around Spirit users to know when they were pulling a person's aura into focus. After a few moments, she turned her attention back on her laptop and began typing away furiously. I tried to make myself busy and began pouring over the data we had collected so far. After a few minutes, I started wishing that I hadn't, it only served as a reminder that we hadn't really accomplished anything thus far. The aura studies had gotten us no where, and I hoped that after today, we would have something more solid to report back to Court and to the Alchemists.

Adrian perked up beside me and practically ran to the front door. He swung it open to reveal Eddie and Sydney, who was holding up a clenched fist like she had been about to knock.

"The cavalry! Thank God." Adrian sounded as if he had spent the last few hours being tortured, and Sydney had arrived just in time to save him.

Sonya shot me an amused look, and then the two of us went back to our respective tasks.

"Nice blouse," I heard Adrian say to Sydney as she walked into the living room. "It really brings out the khaki in your pants."

I glanced up so that I could gauge Sydney's reaction, she didn't seem angry or put off by Adrian's comment. Her lips twitched up slightly, and she regarded him with something that almost resembled affection or fondness.

"Glad you're back, Sydney." Sonya said as she smiled, fangs and all. "I've needed a little female support here."

Sydney's own smile faltered for a brief moment at the sight of Sonya's fangs. I sometimes forgot that even though Sydney spent a lot of time around Moroi and Dhampirs, she was still raised to fear us and to keep us at arms length.

I offered up my own fang-free smile, hoping to put her at ease. "I'm guessing you didn't take a nap."

She shook her head, "Too much to do."

Sonya turned her attention on Eddie, "We've been wondering where you were."

"Busy at Amberwood." His response was vague, but I supposed that it didn't really matter what had kept him away, he was here now. "You know, keeping an eye on Jill and Angeline. Besides, I was waiting until Sydney came back since she wanted to see what we were doing."

"How is Angeline?" I asked. I hadn't seen much of her since the day we had arrived in Palm Springs. "Is she improving?"

Sydney and Eddie exchanged amused glances.

"Improving how, exactly?" Asked Sydney. "In combat, in following the dress code, or in keeping her hands to herself?"

"Or in turning off the caps-lock?" Added Eddie.

"You noticed that too?" Said Sydney.

My eyes widened in surprise. This conversation had gone from zero to computer etiquette in a matter of seconds.

"I didn't realize I needed to be more specific," I told them, my brows scrunching together in a frown. "I meant in combat."

Eddie shrugged. "There's a little improvement, but it's hard to get through to her. I mean, she's dead set on protecting Jill, but she's convinced she already knows how. She's got years of that sloppy training drilled into her. It's hard to break that. Plus, she's…easily distracted."

Sydney made a coughing sound, like maybe she was stifling a giggle. For a brief moment, I felt like maybe I was missing something, but decided that it didn't matter.

"She has no time for distractions. Maybe I should talk to her," I offered.

"No," said Eddie firmly. "You've got plenty to do here. She's my responsibility to train. Don't worry."

Pride swelled within me at Eddie's display of discipline and dedication.

"What about you, Sage?" Asked Adrian, as he swung one leg over the kitchen chair to sit down. "I know we don't have to worry about you violating the dress code. Did you have fun at your Alchemist spa?"

Sydney set down her bag and wandered over to the kitchen. "If by spa, you mean underground bunker. And it was just business." She began rifling through the refrigerator, but stopped to make a face at Adrian. "You promised to get me diet pop."

"I did promise that," said Adrian. "But then I read some article that said those artificial sweeteners aren't good for you. So I figured I'd watch out for your health."

I had to say something, we were all thinking the same thing. "If you want to start tackling healthy habits, I could suggest a few." Adrian had been making jokes at my expense all week, and I didn't see the harm in making one of my own, especially since there were tendrils of truth in my words.

"Wouldn't want to inconvenience you," said Adrian, deadpan. "Besides when not hard at work with this research, I'm actually conducting a side experiment on how cigarettes and gin increase charisma. As you might guess, the results are looking very promising."

I arched an eyebrow. "Wait, go back. Did you say hard at work?" I made sure to keep my tone light and playful, but judging by the hard glint in Adrian's eye, he hadn't taken it that way.

I had a feeling that whatever progress I'd made with Adrian had been set back significantly.

Luckily Sydney decided to intervene. "Research huh? I thought you were a gambling man."

Adrian continued to regard me with hostility for a few more seconds, but then turned his gaze on where Sydney stood, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"I've been known to roll the dice now and then," he finally said. "Why?"

She shrugged. "No reason. Just wondering if you'd put your charisma research on hold and step up for a challenge. If you went 24 hours without cigarettes, I'd drink a can of pop. Regular pop. The whole can."

Adrian's lips curled up in a small smile, "You would not."

"I totally would."

"Half a can would put you into a coma," said Adrian matter of factly.

"Are you diabetic?" Asked Sonya concernedly.

"No," said Adrian," but Sage is convinced that one extraneous calorie will make her go from super skinny to just regular skinny. Tragedy."

"Hey," said Sydney evasively. "You think it'd be a tragedy to go an hour without a cigarette."

"Don't question my steel resolve, Sage. I went without one for two hours today."

Sydney smirked, "Show me 24 and then I'll be impressed."

"You mean you aren't already?" He asked, feigning bewilderment. "And here I thought you were dazzled from the moment you met me."

Sonya and I looked on at their exchange with slight amusement before she shook her head indulgently and said, "You're missing out Sydney. I need about three of these a day to keep me focused on all this work. No detrimental effects so far."

Sydney smiled at Sonya, but something about the tightness of her expression told me that she didn't put any stock in what Sonya had said.

"We should probably get to work," I said, realizing how far off track we'd gotten. "We're losing time."

Adrian snorted, "Right. This is five minutes of valuable research wasted. Up for more fun, Castile? I know how much you love sitting around."

If Eddie did mind the experiments, he would never admit it. "Tell me what you need."

"We want to do another aura study," said Sonya. "Last time we focused on any sign of spirit, this time we want to show both of you some pictures and see if they trigger any color changes in your auras."

"I still say it's a waste," said Adrian. "They're both Dhampirs, but that doesn't mean we can assume any different reactions they have are because Belikov was a Strigoi. Everyone's unique. Everyone's going to respond differently to pictures of kittens or spiders. My old man? He hates kittens."

"Who could hate kittens?" asked Eddie.

"He's allergic," said Adrian, making a sour face as he did.

"Adrian," said Sonya, trying to keep the exasperation out of her voice. "We've been over this. I respect your opinion but still think we can learn a lot."

I was impressed that Adrian actually had an opinion on the subject. He was usually content to let Sonya and I tell him what we wanted him to do, well he was content to let Sonya tell him.

"All data is useful in this case," I said, not to anyone in particular. "Especially since we haven't found anything so far. We know there's something different about former Strigoi. We can't rule out any chance to observe it."

Adrian didn't say anything else after that, instead he joined Sonya at the kitchen table where she was preparing the slide show. Eddie and I dragged two chairs in front of the screen so that we would have a good view. We sat down side by side and Sonya turned the screen in our direction. Her and Adrian stood next to it, pencils and notebooks in hand so that they could take notes on what they observed.

Eddie and I spent the next few hours staring at pictures of everything from flowers, to clowns, to graveyards. All of the images started blurring together in my mind, and the familiar ache that accompanied sitting still for too long began to creep up my spine. I kept having to blink and refocus my gaze and I hoped that none of this would interfere with the aura observations or jeopardize the experiment.

Sydney eventually abandoned the book she had been reading on the couch and wandered over to where Sonya stood.

"What do you see?" whispered Sydney.

"Colors," said Sonya, not taking her eyes off of Eddie and me. "Shining around all living things. Eddie and Dimitri have different colors, but they have the same reactions."

Sonya flicked to the next slide, and a picture of black billowing smoke coming from a factory appeared on the screen. As I stared at the smoke, and how the darkness of it contrasted with the blue sky behind it, I tried to think about how it made me feel. If I was being honest, I didn't really real much of anything. I don't like pollution, but it didn't make me feel particularly sad or angry.

"Neither of them like this." Apparently my aura felt differently. "Their auras dim and turn troubled."

Three kittens replaced the smoke, and again, I tried to gauge my own feelings. They were admittedly cute, but I didn't feel that effected by them.

"And now they warm up. Affection is very easy to spot in an aura. So far, they react in normal ways. There's no sign in Dimitri's aura that he's different from Eddie."

A small part of me was relieved to hear that my aura behaved like that of a Dhampir who hadn't been restored. I didn't want to be different, I didn't want any shred of my former self to be visible to anyone, not even a spirit user. But those were selfish thoughts. The whole purpose of these experiments was to identify and isolate the effects of a Strigoi restoration in the hopes that they could be replicated, thus creating a kind of Strigoi vaccine.

"I think we've seen enough," said Sonya after a few more hours went by. "Thank you, Eddie."

Eddie and I rose from our chairs at the same time. "Happy to help," he said as he reached his arms up to stretch.

"Although…we've got a few other ideas," she added. "Do you think you guys can power through a little longer?"

Sydney yawned just as Sonya finished asking her question.

Eddie turned to her, "I'll stay, but you don't have to. Go sleep. I'll find a ride home."

I was about to offer to drop Eddie off at Amberwood on my way back to Clarence's, but Sydney spoke before I could. "No, no," she said, as she fought off another yawn. "I don't mind. What are your other ideas?"

Sonya's face lit up, "I was hoping to do something similar with Eddie and Dimitri. Except this time, we'd use sounds instead of images. Then I'd like to see how they respond to direct contact with spirit."

"I think that's a good idea," said Sydney. "Go for it, I'll wait."

Sonya glanced around the room at everyone, probably noticing that Sydney wasn't the only one fading fast. "Maybe we should get some food first."

Sydney perked up at the idea, "I'll go, there's a good Thai carryout place a few blocks from here."

"I'll help," said Adrian eagerly.

"I'll help," said Sonya. "The last time you ran an errand, you were gone for two hours."

Adrian scowled, but I knew he was remembering the time he'd told us he was going to pick up ink cartridges for the printer, and came back two hours later with a half eaten bag of goldfish and a buzz.

"Our aura observations have been identical anyways," added Sonya. "You can get them started on sounds without me."

Adrian begrudgingly accepted his fate. Sydney and Sonya left, and once they'd closed the door behind them, Adrian flopped down in front of the laptop and loaded up the audio files. Eddie and I sat back down in our chairs and prepared ourselves.

"Alrighty," said Adrian unceremoniously. "Let's get this over with."

He clicked the mouse, but nothing happened. He didn't seem concerned with the silence though, he just stared at us. Eddie glanced at me out of the corner of his eye, probably wondering if this was supposed to happen. I honestly had no clue though, I hadn't helped Sonya or Adrian out the audio clips together, and wasn't sure if awkward silences were apart of the aura study.

Suddenly, a horrible shrieking noise ripped through the speakers. Eddie jumped so violently that he nearly fell out of his chair. My eyes had widened in surprise, but I didn't have nearly the reaction Eddie did. Or Adrian for that matter, who was laughing so hard that there were tears in his eyes.

"Castile," he said breathlessly. "I'm sorry…I couldn't resist."

"Adrian," I said through gritted teeth.

"Calm down, Belikov," said Adrian, having gained his composure. "This is for science."

I shook my head, but decided to let it go. Adrian, having had his fun, played through the rest of the audio clips without incidence.

Sydney and Sonya returned a half hour later, each brandishing bags full of sweet smelling Thai food. We were forced to eat in the living room since our research had nearly swallowed the kitchen table. Once we were all well fed, Sonya ushered Eddie and I onto the couch. She sat us down next to each other, while her and Adrian stood about ten feet in front of us.

Sydney looked at Sonya nervously, "What do you mean you want to see how they react when coming into direct contact with Spirit?"

"It's sort of like what we would do if we were trying to heal them or make something grow," she explained. "Don't worry – this isn't going to make them super sized or anything. It's more like we're coating them with spirit magic. If Dimitri's got some lasting mark from when he was healed, then I'd imagine it would react with our magic."

Sydney seemed to accept this explanation, and she made herself comfortable on the floor with a book in her lap. Sonya and Adrian made eye contact for a moment, and then after a slight nod from Adrian, they turned their gazes on Eddie. Eddie fidgeted as the two spirit users stared at him. I wasn't sure if we would be able to see a physical manifestation of Spirit, especially since nothing happened at first. Then, I saw a silvery wave of air wash over Eddie. My heart rate increased only slightly as I watched, bracing myself for my turn. Sonya and Adrian repeated the process on me, and when the magic reached me, I felt a rush of hot and then cold and then nothing. Apparently both of our auras had behaved the same. Sonya tried not to look too defeated as she scrawled the results down on a notepad. We decided that there wasn't much more we could accomplish and everyone parted ways.

Sonya was uncharacteristically quiet as we drove back to Clarence's. She was usually brimming with ideas and hope for our research. Tonight's experiments hadn't yielded the results we had all been hoping for, and I could tell that our lack of progress was finally starting to take a toll on her.

"Sonya," I said quietly, not able to ignore her dismay any longer. "We've still got time."

She let out a deep sigh before answering, "It's not that."

I stole a glance at her, but she didn't notice. She was too busy staring out of the window. "Then what's wrong? And don't say nothing, because I know better." I had spent enough time around Rose to know that when a woman told you that nothing was wrong, it usually meant that something was wrong. It was also usually my fault.

"It's the magic," she finally said. "I used a lot tonight. I hadn't really felt the effects of Spirit before now, not since..." Her voice trailed off. "When Robert restored me, he healed me, and I think it did a lot to keep the darkness at bay. Now I feel like this research is chipping away at my defenses."

"Perhaps you and Adrian could alternate?" I offered. "You said it yourself, your aura observations are identical."

"Maybe," she said wistfully. "Maybe it doesn't matter any more though,"

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to sound as alarmed as I was.

"I don't think aura observations are going to get us any where, and I'm out of ideas."

"We'll think of something," I told her reassuringly, not even sure if I believed the words myself.

**I know I usually alternate between POVs, but I was going through my outline and I realized that we're like 8 chapters deep, and I'm just now getting into the first actual chapter of TGL. I didn't think any of you would mind an extra chapter spent with our favorite Russian. Just as an FYI, it's finals, and I'm graduating from college soon, so these next few weeks are going to be super busy, try to bear with me, I'll update when I can.**


	9. Chapter 9

**_Rose -_**

"Today we will be continuing our discussion of _jus ad bellum_ versus _j__us ad bello._ But before we go into the theory behind each, let's start with a basic definition. Miss uh…Hathaway, would you do us the honors?"

Lissa's elbow dug into my ribcage, jarring me from my daydreams. I had been envisioning a particularly attractive Russian, sans clothing, lying next to me on a pile of marshmallows; it was one of my more imaginative scenarios. Long-distance relationships will make you resort to doing things like picturing your boyfriend on a smores sandwich. I turned to scowl at her, but she was too busy jerking her head toward the front of the classroom to notice my annoyance. I followed her gaze and saw that our professor was staring at me, one eyebrow raised. His arms were crossed and he tapped one leather loafer with an almost comical tempo.

"Sorry," I offered. "Did you ask me something?"

He let out an exasperated sigh and then seemed to contemplate whether or not repeating his question would be worth it. "_Jus ad bellum_ and _jus ad bello_, could you give us a definition…maybe even just one?"

"I didn't realize we needed to discuss the semantics of juice in international statecraft," I said with a wry smile.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Lissa smack herself in the forehead, probably embarrassed to be associated with me. My professor looked like he was fighting the urge to do the same.

He shook his head, "Thank you, Miss Hathaway," he said, completely deadpan. "Very inspiring."

He glanced down at the roster on his desk and selected another name, and I settled back into my chair. I closed my eyes, but before I could let my imagination run away with me, I heard someone chuckle softly under their breath from directly behind me. It wasn't a friendly sound, it was taunting – a call to action, and I couldn't help but feel it was directed toward me. In my mind, I oscillated between whipping around and decking the owner of that laugh in their pretentious face, or simply pretending that I hadn't heard anything at all.

I let out a long breath and gripped my pencil hard in my hand, deciding that attacking my classmates didn't fall under my job description as Lissa's guardian, unless they had red eyes and a pair of razor sharp fangs. Since the late morning sun was casting long shafts of light across the scratchy carpet of the lecture hall and no one had disintegrated, I had to assume that the culprit wasn't a Strigoi. He was just a regular dickhead, not the kind who drank blood.

"Good one," a voice whispered from behind me. It was vaguely familiar. "Your ability to blend into this particular breed of moronic, collegiate Neanderthal is improving.

The wooden pencil I had been clutching in my hand snapped, and the pieces fell in splinters onto my open notebook. The tiny shards of wood were the only things adorning the blank sheets of paper. Lissa cast a quick glance in my direction but I kept my eyes trained on the front of the room. I stared at the projector screen that hung behind the professor. I didn't see the words on it though; I was trying to place the voice. I recognized the arrogance, and the sense of superiority. I flipped through a mental catalogue in my mind, and tensed when I was able to picture the owner of the voice – it was the Alchemist who had accosted me outside of the gym a few nights back.

His name was Elliott, and he was the field Alchemist assigned to Lehigh University. He had rubbed me the wrong way from the very beginning. After I had noticed the golden lily tattoo on his check, he had smirked knowingly at me and proceeded to try and assert his dominance over me.

"I'm assuming you know what this means," he had said, pointing to his cheek. The lily reflected the moonlight, and it was almost beautiful.

"Hmm…" I had mused, feigning ignorance. "It's lovely. Although, I don't think the lily goes with your bone structure, perhaps a daisy, or a tulip." I had twirled one strand of hair around my finger absent-mindedly. "And now that I look at it, the color is all wrong…"

"They warned me you would be difficult," he had snapped, cutting me off.

I hadn't bothered asking who "they" were; I had a pretty good idea. I was also sure that whatever "they" had said about me wasn't very nice. I didn't think that the Alchemists much cared for the infamous, fugitive-turned-royal guardian, Rose Hathaway.

"What do you want?" I had finally asked him.

He had shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets, "Just wanted to introduce myself."

"Do they not teach manners at Alchemist summer camp?" I had asked, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. "Because when normal people introduce themselves, they shake hands and say 'hi, my name is…whatever.'"

He had smiled politely; it hadn't done much to make him more approachable, or even likable for that matter. "My name is Elliott, and I'm here to keep an eye on _her majesty_, and her royal guard."

"You're pretty pretentious for a guy whose job is essentially a glorified babysitter."

The smile had vanished almost instantaneously, replaced by a look of pure disgust. "Ours is a noble cause –"

"Spare me," I had interjected. "Now what do you really want?" My patients had been wearing thin. This Elliott guy was the only obstacle standing between me and a late night phone call with Dimitri.

"I saw your little fit earlier today," he had said, referring to my earlier ordeal where I had fallen asleep in class and been pulled into a spirit dream. "And I was watching you in the gym…"

"Stalker."

He had elected not to dignify my comment with a response. "You draw too much attention to yourself. Humans might start to get suspicious…"

"Ah yes," I had said tauntingly. "Because the first conclusion a human would reach when they saw a girl lifting weights is 'she must be half-vampire, flee for your lives!'"

Again, he had chosen to ignore my commentary. "I'm watching you," he had said warningly.

He had given me one last sneer before turning on his heel and stalking off into the darkness. My first reaction had been to call Dimitri to tell him about my encounter with Elliott – the call had gone straight to voicemail. When I did finally speak with him, he had taken Elliott's side, trying to explain that he was only doing his job. As punishment for his _betrayal_, I had limited our communication to vague text messages.

But as I sat in my lecture, with Elliott sitting a mere two feet away from me, I felt the urge to break my silence and to call Dimitri welling up within me.

I leaned over to whisper in Lissa's ear,"I have to pee." I stood up and managed to slip out of the row we had been sitting in before she could question me or ask to join.

As I walked toward the back of the lecture hall, my hand drifted to my back pocket where I could feel the outline of my cellphone through the fabric of my jeans. A faint smile crossed my lips at the thought of hearing Dimitri's voice, but the sound of footsteps behind me dashed those hopes. I quickened my own pace and made it to the door, managing to open it and pull it shut behind me with guardian speed and efficiency. I immediately stepped to the right, pressing my body against the wall and waited.

I didn't have to wait long, Elliott pushed the door open seconds after I had shut it. His eyes were focused on the corridor that lay before him and he had never seen me coming. I decided that a sophisticated incapacitation maneuver would hardly be necessary, and opted for pinning his arms behind his back and pushing him up against the wall with my own body.

"Quit following me," I warned through gritted teeth.

Elliott didn't bother trying to break my hold. "Get your hands off of me." His voice was taught as a wire.

After a brief moment, I released him and stepped away, realizing that golden lily tattoo or not, Elliott couldn't hurt me. "Sorry," I told him.

"No you're not," he said, turning around to face me.

I shrugged, "I guess that's fair."

Elliott looked exactly the way he had outside of the gym. He was all muted colors and plane features, neither particularly attractive, nor was he hard to look at it. He was staring at me appraisingly, and the glint in his brown eyes was the only memorable thing about him, aside from his smug demeanor.

"I didn't do anything wrong," I finally said, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen between us. "I'm pretty sure most of the people in that room were just as lost as me, and it has nothing to do with their species."

The corners of his mouth quirked up in amusement, "I believe I mentioned that." He ran a hand through his hair, "but that's not why I'm here."

"Is it the pleasure of my company?" I asked, giving him a smirk of my own.

The smile and the glint faded away, and they were replaced by a deadly calm. "No," he said. "I'm hear to talk about Victor Dashkov."

My blood ran cold. My pulse quickened and I fought the urge to shake, "What about him?" I asked, hoping that my tone betrayed none of the anxiety that was currently bubbling up within me.

It was entirely possible that he wanted to discuss the supposed sightings of Victor a few weeks back, but something about his gaze made clinging to that notion almost impossible.

"It's actually quite a long story," he started.

"I've got the time," I told him as casually as I could manage.

"I wasn't always stationed here. I used to be the field alchemist in Detroit. About a year ago, we intercepted a call to the human police, a couple of homeless people had stumbled across a body that had been left behind in a dump outside of a little town called Sturgis." He paused, but I kept my face blank. "Report said that the man was abnormally tall, and pale even for a dead guy. I didn't have anything better to do, and decided to investigate on the off-chance it was one of them."

My heart threatened to beat its way out of my chest, but I refused to give Elliott the satisfaction of knowing he was the source of my discomfort.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked, malice lacing my every syllable.

"You'll see," he said coldly. "The body – he was elderly, and he was very tall and very pale. The body was covered in debris and he had a nasty head wound."

A lump was beginning to rise in my throat.

"But he seemed human enough," Elliott continued. "There was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a dirty old man that someone had abandoned in a dumpster, it would have been incinerated along with the other trash that evening, had it not been discovered."

I swallowed hard.

"Yes, I was just about to make a call, to have the body turned over to the human authorities when I saw something." Elliott dug through his pockets and withdrew a small object. It was tiny enough to fit in the palm of his hand, and he held it out to me.

"It's a ring," I said flatly.

"It's a woman's ring," he said impatiently. "And I thought to myself, what is a woman's ring doing jammed on the finger of this rotting corpse?"

I felt bile rising in my throat, the contents of my stomach churning.

"So I pulled it off of him," said Elliott. "And do you know what happened?"

I didn't speak, worried that I wouldn't be able to force down the nausea.

"He transformed. I don't know how, but this ring," he waved it in my face, "holds some kind of glamour magic. When the illusion slipped away, I saw him for what he was – a Moroi, and not just any Moroi," he said maliciously. "No, this was none other than Victor Dashkov."

Sonya and Dimitri had been the ones to dispose of the body. I had never know what had become of it - until now.

"Great!" I told him. "The Guardians have been looking for Dashkov ever since he escaped Tarasov prison, we've spent a considerable amount of resources trying to –"

"Cut the shit," he said cutting me off. "You knew he was dead, you've known all this time."

I didn't flinch, "I don't know what you're talking about, how could I have possibly known that Victor was dead?"

He took a step toward me, closing the gap between us. "Because you killed him," he said, his voice completely devoid of emotion.

I could feel the blood draining from my face, and I wanted to crumple to the floor.

How?

How had this Alchemist made the connection? Why hadn't he reported discovering Victor's body to the Alchemists? A million questions swirled around in my head, but I couldn't ask any of them, not without implicating myself.

"You're insane," I told him. "I didn't kill Victor Dashkov."

He took another step toward me, forcing me to back up into the wall to avoid touching him. I could feel his breath as he spoke. "Liar," he hissed.

I stared up at him defiantly. "You obviously didn't report finding the body, how do I know you're even telling the truth?"

He shrugged casually, "I destroyed the body using my handy little supply of Alchemist chemicals."

I blanched at the thought of Victor's body disintegrating the same way the Strigoi bodies in St. Petersburg had. "Why?" I asked. "Why would you destroy the body?"

"Because Victor Dashkov was murdered, and someone had gone to extreme lengths to cover it up. The murder of Moroi prince is no small matter, and I realized that the discovery of his body presented me with a rare opportunity."

My features twisted into a look of confusion, "What kind of opportunity?"

"To bring down the monarchy," he said snidely, like his reasoning should have been obvious, "to throw your world into chaos, forcing the Alchemists to act. His murder was meant to be kept a secret. I knew that if I could discover the reason, I could maybe use it to dismantle the system." The glint in his eyes from earlier had transformed into a glowing blaze. "At best, I thought I would learn that his murder had been arranged by another royal family, but imagine my delight when I learned the truth."

I tried to laugh, but it came out in a law snarl, "Dismantle the system? Your plan sounds like the plot to a bad movie."

Elliott was not amused, he was deadly calm. "Does it? Deny it all you want, but we both know that you killed Victor Dashkov. If word got out, you would be arrested for murder, and this time – you wouldn't escape. It would force Queen Vasilisa's hand; she would try to save you. Her rule is already under fire, and her intervention on your behalf would spark a revolution."

"Even if what you're saying is true, no one would believe you, you destroyed the body – you destroyed the only proof that you had," I added evasively.

Elliott smirked, "I looked into his disappearance; spoke with his friends, his relatives…" His voice trailed off and he smiled at me menacingly.

_Victor's relatives…_

"I stumbled across something very interesting; did you know that Victor had a half-brother?" Elliott stared at me appraisingly, probably hoping to gage my reaction. "His name is Robert Doru, do you know him?"

I shook my head fervently.

"You're lying," he said in an almost sing-song voice. "It doesn't matter though, because he knows you."

"What do you want?" I finally asked, not caring if my interest implicated me or not.

Elliott tilted his head to one side, "I have a message for you. Robert tried to deliver it himself, but he wasn't able to. He's very angry with you."

"A messaged?" I breathed.

"He would like to meet," he shoved a crumpled up piece of paper into my hand and turned to walk away from me.

"Wait," I called after him. "What is an Alchemist doing working with someone like Robert Doru? You can't possibly want the same things."He halted in his tracks but didn't turn around to face me. "We don't, but that doesn't mean we can't help each other to get what we _do_ want."

A part of me wanted to sprint down the hallway and tackle Elliott to the ground, the other, more sane part of me knew that class would be letting out at any moment, and then Lissa and I would be surrounded by her Guardian detail. I had asked Guardian Mynor whether or not he had coordinated with the Alchemists on arranging Lissa's security at Lehigh, and he had told me they hadn't. He hadn't been particularly alarmed by the presence of an Alchemist on campus, but nothing got past him and I decided that I'd rather not be seen talking to an Alchemist. I let Elliott walk away.

I remembered that I was supposed to be using the bathroom, and that my absence was probably verging on suspicious. The tiny, crumpled ball of paper in my hands was damp with sweat from my palms, and I slipped it into the pocket of my jeans, my fingers brushing my cell phone as I did. The smooth metal reminded me that my reason for leaving the lecture hall in the first place had been to call him. I was suddenly overwhelmed with a need to see him, to touch him, to be held by him. A phone call wasn't going to be enough.

What would I even say to him when I called?

_Hi, yes I'm having a great day. Today, I found out that someone has been working with a deranged magic-user to exact revenge on me for a murder that I committed. How was your day?_

I felt utterly hopeless as I slipped back into the lecture hall and sat down next to Lissa. She looked at me concernedly, but wouldn't dare interrupt the class to ask me what was wrong. When the lecture ended, I gathered my things hastily and tried to put on a brave face for Lissa. I had promised her that I wouldn't keep any more secrets from her, but this – I couldn't tell her this.

I brought my fingers up to brush over the locket that dangled at my throat. When she had given it to me, she'd said that the charms were the only preventative measures we could take. She was worried that if I sought Robert out, I would get caught and the truth of Victor's whereabouts wouldn't come to light. She'd told me she couldn't protect me, but I knew she would try anyways. Telling her about Elliott would send her spiraling.

"Rose?" Lissa asked as we walked out of the lecture hall and toward the parking garage. "What's wrong?"

I didn't bother telling her that it was nothing, my aura probably looked like a storm cloud. "I went to call Dimitri during class," I lied. "We got in a fight."

Her jade green eyes shone with compassion and understanding, "I'm sorry, long distance relationships can be tough."

"It will be fine," I said, waving her off. "I'll talk to him later."

On the way back to the apartment, I sent Dimitri a text message asking if he had time to talk. He responded quickly with a message telling me that he would call me as soon as he could. He'd even included a smiley face, which was strange. If I was emotionally capable of feeling anything other than anxiety and fear, it would have made me laugh.

That call didn't come until the next day, after Lissa and I had already returned to Court for the weekend. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket as I rolled my suitcase into our apartment.

"Dimitri!" I said answering after only one ring. "What the hell? You waited an entire day to call me back?"

"I'm sorry Rose," he said, sounding sincere. "We've been pretty busy over here. I also didn't know we were back on speaking terms."

"Never mind that," I said, slamming the door shut behind me. I had so much to tell him, and I had no idea where to start, so I started talking as fast as I could. "I need to talk to you, something happened in class today, the teacher asked me a question and I didn't know the answer and then this guy made fun of me and it was him! I saw him again!"

"Roza, slow down – what do you mean you saw him again?"

I let out an exasperated sigh before answering, "The alchemist guy! The one I told you about last week?"

"Ah," He said, realization dawning on him. "The one from the gym?"

"Yes, the one from the gym," I told him, a little annoyed.

"Roza, the alchemists are on our side, I don't understand why you're so bothered by him. Sydney's an alchemist, isn't she?"

This Alchemist was not on our side, and I tried to figure out the best way to make him see that. I wasn't sure how he would react if I told him about Elliott and his connection to Robert. I knew that he loved me, that he would want to protect me – that he would die protecting me if he needed to. But I worried that involving Dimitri would be exactly what Robert would expect me to do. After all, Robert's original threat hadn't been against me, it had been against the people I loved. I was suddenly at war in my head, two sides of me battling it out as I tried to find the words to tell him.

"Sydney doesn't count," I finally told him. "And I asked Mynor, the guardians didn't coordinate with the alchemists on Lissa's protection at Lehigh."

"The alchemists still know she's attending school there though, I'm not surprised at all that they would station an alchemist on sight."

My tongue felt like it was stuck to the roof of my mouth, it all made perfect sense to him. I decided that this wasn't a conversation to be had over the phone. I glanced down at my suitcase, and realized that I had a decision to make.

"I guess you're right," I told him compliantly. "Something about him just rubs me the wrong way though, I don't like the guy. He's so boring and calm, he's like a serial killer right before they snap and go on a rampage."

"Just ignore him," he offered.

"Fine," I said. "But there's something else I need to talk to you about."

"What is it?" His voice was tight.

I hesitated, and then spoke. "I fell asleep in class the other day,"

"Roza…" he started, probably getting ready to chastise me.

"No wait," I cut in. "Just listen. I fell asleep, I know - I'm a bad student and Im wasting this wonderful opportunity and I'm a horrible guardian – but that's not the point."

"I didn't say – "

"I think Robert tried to pull me into a spirit dream." I spit out the words before I lost my nerve.

"That's not possible," he said darkly.

"He didn't though!" I said quickly. "I think something went wrong."

"What do you mean went wrong?"

"The dream never fully formed, it was all black…and the locket felt like it was on fire." I shivered, recalling the spirit dream that almost was.

"Does Vasilisa know about this?"

"Yeah," I said, a tinge of bitterness in my voice. "She was kind of…there."

"In the dream?"

"No, she was sitting next to me. She woke me up."

"What does she think about all of this?"

I paused. "She thinks the magic in the locket is fading, she wants to make more, or to at least reinforce the old one."

"Let me guess," he said. "You won't let her."

"I can't ask her to do that, the magic will keep fading, and she'll just keep making more charms. Using the magic like that, for an extended period of time is dangerous."

"Rose," he told me sternly. "You have got to stop this – "

A loud beeping noise from my his interrupted his words.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing, Eddie's trying to call me, that's all," he said quickly. "Rose, promise me you will let Vasilisa help you."

"You should pick up the other line, I have to go anyways," I said, letting the interruption make my decision for me.

"Rose – "

"I'll call you later. Love you, bye!" I hung up before he could protest.

I let out a shuttering breath. I needed to see Dimitri, to explain what was going on in person. My suitcase was already packed, and I knew that I could make Lissa believe I'd gone to see him because of the so-called fight I had told her about earlier. I flung open my front door, only to find a short woman with curly red hair standing in front of me, her fist raised as if she were about to knock.

"Mom?" I asked, not bothering to mask my surprise.

"Rose," she said with as sincere a smile as she could manage. "I'm glad you're finally back." She gestured to my suitcase. "We've been here a few days, and Guardian Croft told us you would be back some time tonight."

I was stunned, but eventually found my words. "Whose we?"

She blushed. Janine Hathaway's cheeks turned a shade of pink I had never seen.

"Your father and I," she said, obviously a little uncomfortable.

"Dear god," I murmured.

"We'd like to take you to dinner," she said, regaining a little bit of her composure.

"Can this wait?" I asked impatiently, I had a flight to Palm Springs to catch.

She shook her head, "There's something important we need to talk to you about."

**Hey, I know it's been forever but the past two weeks have been ridiculous. I took my exams, graduated from college, moved into a new apartment, and started a full time job. I'm all settled now though and can get back to writing! Leave me a review and let me know what you thought!**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Dimitri – **_

"Do you have a minute?"

I glanced up from my novel to see Sonya leaning against the frame of the doorway to my bedroom at Clarence's. She was covered in a light sheen of sweat and wore a plain white T-shirt that was smudged with dirt. Her red hair was piled on top of her head, and her cheeks were tinged with pink from the sun. Sonya had been spending more and more time outside this week, nursing Clarence's ailing garden back to life. Our experiments were getting us nowhere, and I think that she was using the gardening as more of a distraction than for her pleasure. She smiled at me, but it did nothing to hide the dejection that was written across her features. I retrieved the worn out photo strip that I used as a bookmark from my nightstand and placed it between the pages of my book.

"Of course," I told her, offering up what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "What's on your mind?"

She shifted her weight from one side of the frame to the other. "Blood," she said flatly, and then held up one delicate finger. It was wrapped in what looked like toilet paper, and was stained with red.

I sat up a little straighter in the arm chair I had been lounging in. "Sonya, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said quickly. "I just pricked my finger outside, but it got me thinking. So far, most of our experiments have been dependent on aura observations, and the results have been…" Her voice trailed off.

"Unsatisfactory?" I finished for her.

She folded her arms across her chest, tucking her injured finger away. "Right, and now that Mikhail and I have secured the venue for the wedding, I won't be here much longer, and all we will have managed to accomplish is a comprehensive aura study" she admitted. "And while a person's aura can be very telling, they're still just energies, just manifestations of a person's personality and emotions."

I nodded along, trying to follow her words, but I couldn't help but feel that this conversation was about to go beyond my understanding of Spirit and auras and the like.

"What if the effects of a Strigoi restoration are more…physical?" Her eyes had brightened a little with a mixture of curiosity and wonder.

"Physical?" I asked. "Like a scar?"

The only scars I had left over from my days as a Strigoi were emotional. The same Spirit magic that had restored me had also healed me. There wasn't even a mark over my heart from where Vasilisa had staked me.

She shook her head. "No, nothing like that. In the Alchemist's report of what happened with Lee Donahue, I read that the Strigoi commented on the foul taste of his blood…"

I could picture the report; I had practically memorized it and new which part she was referring to.

"And you think it might have something to do with him having been restored?"

"I know my theory is…reaching, but – "

"No," I said, rising from the chair and setting my book down on the table. "I think it's a good idea."

I did think Sonya was on to something, but that wasn't my only reason for supporting her. I was sick of feeling like I had nothing to contribute to our research. I had spent the past few weeks sitting on Adrian's couch, staring at pictures, listening to music, doing whatever Sonya and Adrian asked, but it had gotten us nowhere. I couldn't help but feel personally responsible for our lack of progress. I wasn't a Spirit user, I couldn't make aura observations, but I could help with this.

A look of relief washed over Sonya. "We could start with blood samples," she said, not wasting any time. "One from you, and one from Eddie. Then we could compare them to each other in a lab setting."

"How soon can we draw the blood?" I asked, trying not to sound too eager.

"I have a kit downstairs; it's with the research in the parlor." She motioned over her shoulder as she spoke.

I strode toward the doorway where Sonya stood. "Eddie and the others will be here soon for Jill's feeding, we can ask him for a sample then. In the meantime, you can take mine."

Sonya smiled, and this time it was genuine. She followed me out into the hallway and together we descended the gilded staircase. Despite the fact that the outside of Clarence's home looked like it was designed by Stephen King, the inside was sleek and modern. Sonya and I were discussing the possible implications of comparing blood samples, when we reached the bottom of the stairs and found our host waiting for us.

"Guardian Belikov," he said, his eyes beaming. "I was hoping that I would run into you."

Clarence always addressed me by my formal title, despite the fact that I had told him on a number of occasions to call me Dimitri. He also usually greeted me as if I hadn't been living in his home for the past month, and that finding me here was a pleasant surprise.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Donahue?" I asked courteously.

He clasped his hands together in front of him. "I was hoping that perhaps you would be willing to take a look at the place. I fear that my home is susceptible to an intrusion, the window locks are awfully old and probably need to be replaced." He fixed me with a grave expression. "The hunters would make quick work of it."

This was not the first time Clarence had asked me to do a sweep of his home, and I knew it would not be the last. "Mr. Donahue," I said, trying to decide if I should indulge him, or find a way to brush him off. "I would be happy to."

The blood samples would have to wait.

"Splendid," he said turning away from Sonya and me and then walking off in the direction of the kitchen.

I turned to Sonya and she shrugged, "I guess I'll join you."

Sonya and I spent the next hour pressing our palms against windows and jiggling door handles. Our _security check _was hardly thorough, but I had checked the locks in the old manor house so many times, that I didn't feel all that guilty about it. Clarence watched us and muttered his appreciation every few minutes or so. The three of us were in the library when Dorothy came in and cleared her throat.

"Mr. Donahue," she said in a polite voice. "Jill and the others are here for their feeding."

Clarence's head bobbed up and down in acknowledgment, but his white hair didn't move at all. "Shall we?" He turned to address his question to Sonya and me.

I stepped back from the window I had been inspecting and tried not to nod enthusiastically. We followed Clarence and Dorothy out of the library, but Dorothy headed off in the direction of one of the bedrooms while the rest of us made our way to the parlor on the other side of the house.

"Did the library seem like it was at risk to you?" asked Clarence as we walked.

"Not that I could tell," I told him assuredly.

"What about the windows?" he asked suspiciously. "Did you check the windows?"

"I checked the windows." I tried to speak as gently as possible, but Clarence's attention was now fixed on the doors at the end of the hallway we were walking down.

The frosted French doors that sealed off the parlor from the rest of the house were closed, but did little to conceal the voices that were coming from the other side. The three of us entered the sitting room together to find Adrian, Sydney, Angeline, and Eddie sitting among the feather pillows that lay strewn on the couches. Sydney, who looked as though she were about to say something to Adrian, clamped her mouth shut as soon as she caught sight of us. She looked slightly embarrassed, but recovered quickly.

"Hello, Mr. Donahue," she said politely. "It's nice to see you again."

"Eh?" said Clarence, squinting around the room, searching for the owner of the voice. "There you are," he said, recognizing Sydney at last. "Glad you could stop by, my dear. What brings you over?"

Despite the fact that Dorothy had just informed us that Jill and the others were here for their bi-weekly feedings, Clarence seemed to regularly forget the purpose of our get-togethers.

"Jill's feeding, sir." Sydney's tone was always kind and respectful whenever she addressed the old Moroi.

"Ah, yes, naturally." He walked over to his favorite arm chair and settled into it. He turned his gaze on Sonya and me. "So you'll be able to fix the window locks?"

I hesitated; searching for an explanation that might put Clarence's unease to rest for good. "I don't believe there's anything wrong with the ones you have. Everything is sealed up pretty tightly."

Clarence's expression darkened. "So it seems, but you don't know how resourceful _they_ are. I'm not behind the times, you know. I know there are all sorts of technologies out there that you can put in. Like lasers that tell you if someone's breaking in."

I was now used to Clarence's vague references to human vampire hunters, who he usually referred to as _they_, or _them_. Rose had warned me about Clarence's paranoia, but her words hadn't prepared me for Clarence's frequent requests for security checks, or his ominous warnings.

I arched an eyebrow. "You mean a security system?"

"Yes, exactly," said Clarence. "That'll keep the hunters out."

"I'm not really qualified to install a security system," I told the old Moroi.

I heard Adrian mutter something under his breath, but I ignored him. "You'd have to call professionals," I said, shifting my attention back to Clarence. "I'm guessing you wouldn't want a bunch of strangers coming in and out of your house."

Clarence frowned, and I knew I had successfully deterred him. "That's true. It'd be easy for the hunters to infiltrate them."

I guess I had only been partially successful if he was still going on about the hunters. "I'll do daily checks of all the doors and windows while I'm here – just to be sure."

My offer seemed to pacify Clarence for now. "That would be wonderful. Admittedly, I'm not really the hunters' usual type. Not dangerous enough," he added, chuckling softly. "Still, you never know what could happen. Best to be safe."

Sonya offered him a gentle smile, and their eyes met. "I'm sure everything will be fine. You have nothing to worry about."

It took me a moment to realize what was happening. Clarence's eyes were glossy and most of the tension in his posture had subsided. His lips curled up slightly until they formed a wide grin. Sonya had spun her words with compulsion.

"Yes, yes. You're right. Nothing to worry about," he said, mimicking Sonya's calm demeanor.

A strange silence fell over the room, and I noticed that Sydney seemed to have absorbed Clarence's unease. She looked terribly uncomfortable, and I wondered if it was because she knew that Sonya had just used compulsion on Clarence.

Sonya took a seat on the sofa next to Eddie. "I'm not going to be around much longer," she told us, changing the subject. "A few more weeks at most. I need to go back and work on some wedding plans with Mikhail."

"When's the big day?" asked Adrian.

Sonya beamed at him, "It's in December. There's a huge, tropical greenhouse near the Court that we're going to use. It's gorgeous – not that it matters. Mikhail and I could be married anywhere. All that counts is that we're together. Of course, if we're able to choose why not go all out?"

Sonya always lit up when she talked about Mikhail or their plans to be married. Her musings also never failed to make me consider the possibilities of my own wedding, even though Rose had made it very clear that she wouldn't be marrying anyone until she was older. I tried not to bring up the topic too often, but just because I didn't openly discuss marriage, didn't mean I had never pictured my Roza, all in white, walking down the aisle toward me.

"Dimitri may stay on." The sound of my name pulled me from my reverie. "But it'd be great if we could make some kind of progress before I go. The aura tests so far have been…"

"Useless?" suggested Adrian.

"I was going to say inconclusive," said Sonya.

"So all that time we spent was wasted?" asked Adrian, his tone on the verge of whining.

Sonya didn't answer Adrian. "Dimitri and I were talking and realized there's something obvious we've been missing."

"What's that?" asked Adrian, only sounding vaguely interested.

"Blood," I said bluntly. "Obviously there's something about restored Strigoi that protects them – us. We've looked for magical signs, but the answer might be more physical. And based on the report, the Strigoi had trouble drinking L-_his_ blood."

I had been about to mention Lee in front of Clarence, but had decided against it at the last second. We had tried to talk to Clarence about what had become of his son, but he never seemed to accept our explanations for his absence.

"They complained about it," affirmed Sydney. "But that didn't seem to stop them from drinking it." Sydney spoke with a controlled voice, though I could tell she was uncomfortable discussing what had happened.

"We'd like to take a sample of Dimitri's blood and then compare it to yours, Eddie," said Sonya. "Blood can hold all sorts of magical properties, which might show us how to fight Strigoi. We can send it to a lab for the chemical part and try to read any magical properties off it too." Sydney looked at Eddie apologetically, but he didn't look concerned.

"No problem," he said. "Whatever you need."

Eddie seemed just as eager to contribute to the blood experiments as I was. I could tell being inactive bothered him in the same way it did me. We were men of action, but we were also men of duty and would do what was required of us, even if it mean staring at pictures of kittens all day.

"If you need another Dhampir, you can use me too," offered Angeline. "Me and Eddie could help you. We'd be a team. Sydney wouldn't have to keep coming along, especially now that she's got a boyfriend."

Sydney looked scandalized by Angeline's statement, but Sonya swooped in before anyone could really acknowledge what Angeline had said. "We'll consider it," said Sonya, sounding slightly amused. "For now, I'd rather not take you away from your schoolwork. It's less important for Eddie since he's already graduated, but you should keep up with it."

Angeline looked put out by Sonya's dismissal of her offer, but any protests she might have made were cut off by Jill entering the room.

"Your turn, Adrian," said Jill, walking over to where Angeline sat.

Adrian had been in the middle of yawning and looked startled that someone had noticed he was still in the room. He hadn't been paying much attention to Sonya. He stood up and then paused to glance over at where Sydney sat.

"Will you walk with me a sec, Sage?" he asked her. "Don't worry; I'm not taking you to the feeding. I just wanted to ask you a question."

Sydney nodded without a word and then followed him out of the room.

"Wonder what that's all about," said Angeline with a smirk.

Jill elbowed her in the ribs.

"What the heck?!" exclaimed Angeline. Jill shot her a quelling look. "You don't have to be so rude," said Angeline, rubbing her injured side.

"Eddie," said Sonya, drawing the room's attention away from the spectacle that Angeline was making. "Do you remember anything else about…that night, something about _his_ blood that might not have been mentioned in the Alchemist report?"

Eddie shook his head. "He was already…_gone_ when I got there." He glanced over at Clarence, but he didn't seem to be paying much attention to our conversation. "You would have to ask Sydney."

I hesitated before speaking, "I was hoping not to dredge up any memories of what happened to her."

"She's stronger than she looks," said Eddie with a hint of pride. "The Strigoi even tried to feed from her, but they weren't able to."

Sonya tilted her head thoughtfully. "What do you mean they weren't able to? The reports mentioned that the Strigoi had trouble drinking from her, do you know why?"

Eddie shrugged. "Again," he said. "You would have to ask Sydney.

Sonya's eyes narrowed and I could already sense where this was going. "I know she's not a former Strigoi," she started off, "but what if Sydney's blood had some property that makes her blood inedible?"

"That's hardly a cure," said Eddie defensively.

"Perhaps not," I mused. "But it could still help defend against Strigoi."

Maybe it wasn't what we had originally set off to discover, but the idea that there might be a way to take away a Strigoi's food source was too intriguing not to pursue.

"It couldn't hurt to send a sample of Sydney's blood to the labs with the others," said Sonya. "Who knows what it could turn up."

Sydney reentered the room just then, looking slightly flustered, and Sonya perked up immediately.

"Sydney, we just had a wonderful idea."

Sydney eyed the other woman meaningfully, but didn't respond.

"We were just talking about the reports from the night of the…incident. Both the Moroi and the Alchemists said the Strigoi had trouble with your blood too, correct?"

Sydney stiffened. "Yes," she said carefully.

"Obviously you're not a restored Strigoi," said Sonya, not seeming to notice Sydney's discomfort. "But we'd like to take a sample of your blood too. Maybe there's something about it that could help us. A small sample should suffice."

All eyes were on Sydney, even Clarence was paying attention now. Her mouth formed into a tight line and her fists were clenched at her sides.

Sydney swallowed hard. "It was only one Strigoi's opinion," she said mechanically. "And you know they don't like humans as well as…you guys. That's probably all it was."

"Perhaps," said Sonya. "But there's no harm in checking."

"I think it's a waste of time," said Sydney. "We know Spirit is involved, and I have no connection to that."

Sonya looked crestfallen. "I do think it would be helpful. Please," she added.

"I…I'd rather not," stammered Sydney.

Sydney was usually so compliant and so helpful, seeing her so unnerved and unwilling was strange.

I studied her curiously. "It won't hurt, if that's what you're worried about," I assured her. "We don't need any more than what a doctor would take."

Sydney stood her ground. "No."

"Both Sonya and I have training in this sort of thing," I added, "You don't have to worry about – "

"She said no, okay?" Adrian had appeared suddenly in the doorway behind Sydney. "How many times does she have to refuse?"

Adrian's green eyes were alight with rage, and he was showing more concern in this one moment than I had seen him display all week.

"If she doesn't want to, then that's all there is to it," roared Adrian. "This has nothing to do with her. This is _our_ science project. She's here to protect Jill and has plenty to do there. So stop harassing her already!"

I took special care to remain calm in the face of Adrian's outburst. It would do me little good to try and put out a fire with more fire. "Harassing is kind of a strong word."

"Not when you keep pushing someone who wants to be left alone," countered Adrian, his eyes flickering briefly in Sydney's direction. "Stop ganging up on her."

Sonya blanched, and her expression was filled with concern. "Adrian…Sydney…we aren't trying to upset anyone. We just really want to get to the bottom of this. I thought all of you did too. Sydney's always been so supportive."

"It doesn't matter," growled Adrian. "Take Eddie's blood. Take Belikov's blood. Take your own for all I care. But if she doesn't want to give hers, then that's all there is to it. She said no. This conversation is done."

"But – " said Sonya.

"Let it go," I told her softly.

Adrian had disagreed with Sonya and me on several occasions, but he had never cared enough to stand up to either of us. Seeing him so impassioned was a new experience for me, and I decided that it wasn't worth upsetting him or Sydney.

"Adrian's right," I finished.

Adrian looked surprised at my admission, but turned his attention back on Sydney. A loud buzzing noise broke the awkward silence that had fallen over the room, and I realized that it was coming from me. I slipped my hand into the pocket of my jeans and withdrew my cell phone. My heart leapt when I glanced at the caller ID and saw that Rose was calling me.

"Excuse me," I said, already halfway to the door. "I need to take this."

I hated to be rude and leave without saying goodbye to Sydney and the others, but Rose and I had been playing phone tag all week and I was on the verge of desperation.

'"Rose," I said, turning to close the French doors of the sitting room behind me.

"Dimitri," she breathed. "God I missed your voice. I'm dying over here." She paused, "and no, I'm not being dramatic."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Are your parents still in town?"

"Yes," she grumbled. "They're being so weird too. First, my mom shows up last week and tells me that she and Abe want to talk to me about something, and then they spend all night chewing me out for not paying attention in school."

"And they haven't mentioned anything about what she wanted to talk to you about?" I asked, walking up the stairs toward my bedroom.

"Not a word," she said, sounding supremely annoyed. "My mom has been hovering over me every chance she gets. When I'm not at Lehigh with Lissa, I'm with her or my d-_Abe_. I can't escape!"

I reached my door and slipped inside the room. "They just want to spend time with you, is that so bad?"

"Yes," she huffed. "I need to get away."

"Let's get away together," I offered. The idea of running away with Rose was becoming more and more appealing by the day.

"We could go see your family," suggested Rose.

I sucked in my breath, "We could do that."

My family was still a touchy subject for me. Rose had told me how they had mourned for me, how they had considered me dead. It hurt too much to even think about.

"Or we could go someplace warmer," she offered, sensing my unease.

I flopped down unceremoniously onto the bed. "I think I've had enough of the heat."

"I think I've had enough of you being gone," she said with a sigh.

There was a long silence, and then I said, "Me too."

"Dimitri?" she asked. "Do you remember when you told me that it was okay to ask for help?"

I sat bolt upright. "Yes," I said quickly. "What do you need help with?"

"Well," she said, dragging out the word evasively. "Robert Doru found a way to get a message to me, and I was actually about to get on a plane when my mom showed up last week and – "

"Rose!"

"Wait," she said calmly. "Let me finish. I wasn't going to meet Robert. I was going to come see you."

"Oh," was all I managed to say.

"I don't know what to do any more," she admitted. "Robert has to be dealt with and I don't even know where to start."

I knew that Rose asking for help was a big deal, and I searched in vain for the right words to say to her. I wanted to convey how grateful I was that she was coming to me, but I didn't want to make her feel like a child who needed to have their hand held.

"Roza," I said as calmly as I could. "You don't have to be the one to deal with Robert. I know you feel like this situation is resting solely on your shoulders, but that's not the case. I want you to go to Mynor, or to Hans."

"And tell them what?" she snapped. "You know why I can't do that, do you want to see me behind bars again?"

I was suddenly grateful that Roza wasn't there to see me cringe.

"You know that's not what I want. I would die before I let that happen." I told her through gritted teeth.

"I'm not asking you to die. I'm asking you to help me deal with Robert."

"And how do you plan on doing that?"

"I don't know," she said exasperatedly.

"Roza, I am begging you, do not do anything rash. Do not seek Robert out; do not try to contact him."

"You're not my instructor anymore," she said venomously. "You can't boss me around like that."

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. "I'm not saying this as your instructor, I'm saying this as your – "

"Boyfriend?" she offered darkly. "My _boyfriend_ shouldn't be telling me what to do over the phone. My _boyfriend_ shouldn't have left me alone in Pennsyl-freaking-vania. My _boyfriend_ – "

"Rose," I interjected, cutting off what was sure to be a very long-winded rant. "You know why I had to come here, we've talked about this. These experiments are important."

"Yeah? And have you actually made any progress yet?"

Her words hit me like a slap in the face.

"Rose – "

"I get it," she said before I could finish. "You'd rather play lab rat in a bunch of failed experiments than deal with me and my problems."

"That's not fair and you know it," I said as I leapt off the bed.

"Don't talk to me about what's _fair_," she spat. "Don't talk to me at all."

The line went dead.

**I know, I'm terrible and it's been weeks, but I promise that I haven't given up on this story. Writing from Dimitri's POV is just so hard for me and I never feel good about posting his chapters. I went back and re-read TGL, so I feel a little better about it now. I'm also really crazy obsessed with my other story. I get these ideas in my head and I can't focus on anything else until I get them down on paper…or on Microsoft word, whatever. Again, I'm sorry you guys had to wait so long for an update.**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Rose – **_

Hanging up the phone after a fight is not nearly as satisfying as lifetime movies have made it out to be. There is nothing gratifying about abandoning a conversation out of anger or frustration. Dimitri deserves better than a spiteful girlfriend who hangs up on him because she's hurting. I have never felt more like a child than I do right now, including when I had been an actual child.

But I don't know how to handle this kind of hurt. How do you keep yourself from feeling utterly alone despite the fact that you are surrounded by people? Sure, there are people I could go to, people who know about Victor and Robert and they would try to help me figure out what to do. Even if I could admit that I have absolutely no clue what to do about Robert, what good would it do me, how would anyone be able to help me? Hans and Mynor would probably toss me in jail, Lissa's the queen, and Dimitri was thousands of miles away.

After my phone call with Dimitri, I decided to lie down on the floor of my living room and stare at the ceiling. My suitcase looked like it had thrown up all over my bed and I was too lazy to put any of my clothes away. I watched the blades of my ceiling fan spin, and the longer I stared, the faster they moved. I eventually had to close my eyes to keep from getting dizzy, but they immediately snapped back open at the sound of someone knocking at my door.

I debated whether or not it would be worth it to peel myself off the floor and walk all the way to the front door to answer it. If it was an emergency someone would have called me and Lissa had a key. I thought about the last time I had answered a knock at my door. It had been my mother.

I shivered as I recalled the agonizing dinner that she had insisted I attend with her and my father. To say that the experience had been awkward would be an understatement. She had initially told me that it was because they had something important to tell me, but instead of dropping some life changing truth bomb on me, they had asked me a million questions about Lehigh and Dimitri.

The knock came again, louder and more persistent this time. I returned my attention to the ceiling fan.

"Rose," the all too familiar voice yelled from behind the door. "I know you're in there! I'm perfectly qualified to kick down a door."

I let out a groan and rolled myself into a sitting position. "Not today, Janine," I yelled back.

"You have until the count of three!" She said, sounding deadly serious.

A part of me wanted to laugh, but the other more violent part of me wanted to punch a hole through the door. I took a deep breath and then stood up as slowly as I could manage.

"One!"

I decided that I could use a little break, and so I took a moment to stretch my arms above my head.

"Two!"

I strolled casually over to the door and reached for the knob.

"Three!"

I yanked it open, not really sure what I would find. Maybe my mom crouched in some offensive maneuver, preparing to deliver a swift round house kick to my door? Instead I found her leaning against the side of the frame, looking bored.

"What?" I asked, careful to keep my tone perfectly neutral.

"What were you doing in there?" she demands, sounding suspicious.

"Lying on my floor," I tell her with a sarcastic grin.

She studies me carefully, probably trying to figure out if I was making a joke, albeit a very bad one. "Something is wrong," she said sternly, folding her arms across her chest.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. "Usually people _ask_ if something is wrong."

My mother furrowed her brows, and for a fleeting moment, she looked like one of those exasperated T.V. moms. "Fine," she conceded. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, "Nothing."

"I'm a trained guardian, Rose," she said, straightening up in the doorway. "I can tell when you're lying."

"As if I could forget," I said, fighting the urge to roll my eyes for the second time, and instead I stepped aside to let her into my apartment. She strode past me and stopped in the middle of the living room, wrinkling her nose in disapproval the way she always did whenever she came over. Now that I don't have Dimitri's tidy habits to contend with, I have let the dishes pile up in the sink and I haven't done any laundry in what feels like ten years.

"Now," said my mother, whirling around to face me. "Tell me what's been bothering you. You've been on edge all week. You aren't eating, there are bags under your eyes, and your hair looks dirty."

I shot her a withering look. "My hair isn't dirty," I snapped. "I'm fine. And if I'm on edge it's because you and Abe are here! You show up a week ago, unannounced, and you haven't done anything but nag me since!"

She pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "We're just trying to get to know you."

"Both of you are about, oh, I don't know," I glance down at my bare wrist even though I'm not wearing a watch and then glare back at her. "Eighteen years too late."

"Rose," my mother said, sounding uneasy. "This is uncharted territory for me. I know as much about being a mother as you do about being a daughter."

"Hey," I said, trying to sound offended. "Don't drag me down with you! I'm a model child!"

She raised an eyebrow at me. "I don't think busting out of prison and getting your teenage friend elected queen falls under the definition of 'model child'." She said, making air quotes to emphasize her point.

I brushed past her and flopped down onto the couch, snatching a random book off the coffee table. "You should be proud of me," I told her casually, fanning through the pages of _All the Pretty Horses_. "I'm a household name."

She wondered over to where I sat and gingerly lowered herself onto the couch next to me, though she was careful not to touch me. "I am proud," she said. Her voice was strained, but I could tell that she meant it.

A heavy silence hung in the air. I did my best to ignore the situation and my mother by staring into the pages of the novel. _"Scars have the strange power to remind us that our past is real." _I made a mental note to remind myself to tell Dimitri that his weird western novel had ripped off a Papa Roach song.

"What are you reading?"

I had almost forgotten that my mom was still in the room with me. I closed the book and held up the cover for her.

She looked confused when she read the title. "I didn't realize you were such an avid reader, or a fan of the Old West for that matter."

"I'm not," I said glumly, tossing the book back onto the table. It landed near a pile of other worn out novels. "Dimitri is."

Even saying his name made my chest hurt.

"How is…" she paused, and seemed to be gathering her courage. "How is your relationship with Guardian Belikov?"

"Dear God," I muttered under my breath. "His name is Dimitri, and we're just _peachy_."

"Ah," she said knowingly. "So you're having boy troubles?"

I stared at a spot on the wall, "How perceptive of you," I said deadpan. "All this time I thought you had the emotional intelligence of a rock."

"Rosemarie," she said, letting out a breath. "You don't have to tell me what's going on between you and Guardian Beli – Dimitri, not if you don't want to." I opened my mouth to tell her that I most certainly did not want to, but she held up a hand to silence me. "But it might surprise you to learn that there is more to me than my title and my reputation."

"Is it your modestly?" I ask, batting my eyelashes innocently.

I was actually pretty impressed that she didn't snap at me, instead she just pretended that I hadn't even spoken. "I meant that I was your age once. I know what it's like to be in love." For a moment, she sounded far away, like her mind had left her body completely. "I also know what it's like to sacrifice that love in the name of duty," she said bitterly, snapping back to the present.

I sat there stunned, unable to come up with a single thing to say to her. I had never really considered what my mother had been like at my age, never considered that she might have loved the way I have loved, lost the way I have lost.

"Dimitri might not be here with you right now, but he'll come back. The good ones always find a way to come back to you," she said, smiling wistfully.

"Did you love him?" I asked, careful not to meet her gaze. "Abe, I mean."

Her fledgling smile bloomed and it transformed her normally impassive face into something that was alive. "Yes, I did. I still do."

"Uh," I said, rolling my head around to stare at her. "What?"

"That's what we wanted to talk to you about. We meant to tell you on that first night, but you seemed so upset and your father was worried you wouldn't take it well."

"Take what well?" I inquired, even though I don't think I actually wanted to know the answer.

She sucked in a breath and slid her face behind her guardian mask. "We're getting married."

**This was kind of a filler chapter, but I wanted to show what was happening back at Court, all the important stuff is happening in Palm Springs. Now that I've finished Pulse (please excuse my shameless plug, but if you haven't read it please check it out) I'm going to switch gears and focus more on this story.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Wait! Before you start reading, have you read Gigi256's story, **_**Dimitri's Debt**_**? If not, here's why you should: One, it's spectacular. Two, I will be making references to it throughout this chapter and a few others. Happy reading!**

_**Dimitri – **_

It had only been a few hours since my fight with Rose, and even though I had tried to take most of my frustrations out on a punching bag that hung in a downtown Palm Springs gym, I still felt unsettled. After realizing that no amount of kicking and punching was going to relieve the tension that radiated in my joints, I left the gym and began wondering the streets of Palm Springs.

I wish I hadn't.

Even though we were on the cusp of Autumn, the air was still hot and thick. It pushed against me and made walking feel more like swimming, each stride requiring more effort than I felt like exerting. I was sore and exhausted, I hadn't trained in days. I had been too caught up in the Strigoi experiments - _You'd rather play lab rat in a bunch of failed experiments…_

Rose's words coursed through my veins like adrenaline, but it was slower and felt more like a poison than anything else. Every part of me was weighed down with a mixture of guilt and pent up aggression. I was angry – angry that we hadn't made any progress in our experiments, angry that Rose had to deal with Robert on her own, angry at how stubborn she could be. My fists were balled at my sides, practically shaking. I needed to reign in my emotions, to make sure I wouldn't lose control. I needed something to distract me.

I stopped dead in the middle of the sidewalk and stared at the little shops and boutiques that lined the street. My eyes eventually fell on a hand-painted sign that read _My Favorite Book Store. _I started walking in the direction of the sign without having to make the conscious decision to put one foot in front of the other.

A tiny bell chimed when I pushed open the door to the shop, and a small elderly woman greeted me from the top of a rickety wooden ladder, an armful of books clutched to her chest. She smiled and then returned to her work, placing each book on the shelf with a practiced tenderness.

The shop was small and every inch of it was lined with books, books of every size and every color. The air was close, but pleasant – a mixture of ink and pressed pages. It was like stepping into the middle of an ancient forest, the pages of the books like the rings of an aged oak tree, each one filled with stories; secrets that you have to unravel one page at a time.

Books had always provided me with an escape. My life had never really been my own. As a Dhampir, I was expected to take a certain path, to live a certain way. I don't regret the choices I've made, I'm proud to serve, proud to protect. But I haven't always agreed with the rules and the stigmas and the structure that comes with being a guardian. More than that, I sometimes find myself wondering what my life would have been like had I been born under different circumstances. Reading lets me do just that, I have lived a hundred different lifetimes among the pages of my novels – each story more exciting than the last.

The shop put my mind at ease, and I found that I was a little calmer than I had been earlier when I'd been prowling down the streets of Palm Springs. I made my way down one of the shop's many narrow aisles, running my hands along the spines of the books as I did. I was instantly reminded of my mother's home in Baia and it sent pain shooting through every part of me.

Rose told me how my family had mourned my death; surely they had found a way to move on by now. I hadn't been able to bring myself to face them, even calling them felt wrong. I had already brought them so much pain, so much grief.

I needed these experiments to succeed, not just for me, but for my family. I needed something good to come from what had happened to me. People had called me a miracle, but I still felt like a monster. My restoration hadn't been the result of my own endeavors. My salvation had come in the form of Rose Hathaway, who loved so fiercely and so deeply, like fire manifested in the form of a girl – beautiful and treacherous. She had saved me – she was the miracle, and it was a miracle that she loved me.

I owed it to her, and to my family, and to the rest of the world to find a way to save others.

I stared at the titles of all the books that lined the shelves, stared but didn't really see. I felt something buzzing in my pocket, and I yanked my phone out almost violently to look down at the caller ID screen.

It was Rose.

My jaw clenched and I looked around, noticing for the first time that the old woman and I were the only ones in the shop. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for the conversation that was sure to come. I pressed the accept button and brought the phone up to my ear, but was cut off by a stream of unintelligible chatter before I could even utter a greeting.

"Rose," I said in as calm a voice as I could muster. I fought the urge to call her Roza – _my_ Roza. I wasn't sure if she was still my Roza. "Slow down and start from the beginning."

She took a deep breath. I pictured the way she would close her eyes as she inhaled and raked a hand through her dark hair in frustration, pictured it so clearly that the image made my chest physically ache. She released the breath.

"They're getting married," she said flatly.

I frowned in confusion though I kept my voice neutral. "Who is getting married? Lissa and Christian?"

"Janine!" she snapped. "My mother – she's…she's marrying Abe!" Her words were tinged with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief.

I am a full-fledged guardian. I have trained for decades in the combined arts of combat and stealth; I have never been afforded the luxury of wearing my emotions on my sleeve, and I am rarely ever caught off guard by anything – but this? The news of Janine Hathaway's engagement to Ibrahim Mazur caused my jaw to go slack and I had to blink several times to keep my eyes from bugging out of my head.

"I didn't realize they were even dating," I said through my stupor.

Rose barked out a laugh. "I don't think they were _dating_, Comrade. They already had a kid so I doubt they feel compelled to follow the conventional pattern of dating and _then_ getting married."

My heart seized up at the use of her nickname for me, but I tried to play it off, still unsure of where our relationship stood. "When did you find out?"

"Ten minutes ago. Janine showed up at my door after - "

Her words cut off abruptly, but we both knew what she had been about to say: after our fight.

"She showed up and she was being all weird and telling me she was going to knock my door down and then she was counting and talking about how they wanted to_ get to know me, _and then boom - she tells me they're getting married."

I didn't have time to sift through the contents of everything she had just told me so I focused on the "boom" part.

"When?"

She paused before answering, "I don't know, I didn't ask." Her voice sounded ragged, and I couldn't even begin to imagine how she must be handling the news on top of everything else going on in her life. "Then she told me that Abe wants to go hunting with me? Which sounds creepy, you don't think he hunts people do you? Like the most dangerous game or whatever?"

My expression was caught between a wince and a smile as I recalled my own hunting trip with the infamous Zmey. I hadn't told Rose the specifics of what had transpired that day, it was probably better that way. I'm sure Roza would not have appreciated her father pointing the barrel of a rifle at her boyfriend.

I shuddered inwardly at the thought, and then had to remind myself that Abe had ultimately given me his blessing. He had trusted me to love Roza, to protect her, and yet here I was in Palm Springs…thousands of miles away from her.

An awkward silence fell and I leaned against one of the shelves, the wood groaning beneath my weight. Did this mean she wasn't mad at me any more? Had she just called to vent? I had no idea how to proceed. I would have been more prepared to infiltrate a nest of Strigoi than to navigate the waters of a choppy relationship.

"Dimitri," she said, and her voice was weak. "I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who should be sorry, Roza, I – "

"No," she said forcefully. "I'm not finished. I was being selfish earlier, and I shouldn't have said those things to you. I should have been more supportive, but instead I tried to make you feel guilty. You didn't deserve that, your work is important and I know that."

"Now it's my turn," I told her firmly. "When I made the choice to come to Palm Springs, it was for selfish reasons. I thought that if I could find a way to prevent anyone from turning it would alleviate some of the guilt still left over from…from what I did. I came here for all the wrong reasons; I left because I thought I would find forgiveness here."

"Whose forgiveness? Because I forgave you a long time ago."

"I know that, but that doesn't mean I understand why you forgave me. I still don't feel like I deserve that kind of compassion, I still don't feel like I deserve to be forgiven."

"You thought finding a cure would make you more deserving," she said quietly.

She wasn't accusing me of anything, she wasn't angry or upset. She was showing me that she understood me better than anyone, better than I understood myself.

"Yes."

"I know nothing I can say will convince you that you deserve to be forgiven, that's something you need to realize on your own. I know that you will though, and when you do, I'll be right here waiting for you. I will always be here."

"Thank you," was the only thing I managed to say.

"I love you, Comrade," she said. "Never forget that."

_Forgive but never forget. _

"I love you too."

…

The next day I woke up feeling refreshed, better than I had in days. After my morning run, I had gone over to Adrian's to see if he wanted to come back to Clarence's to help Sonya and I figure out our next move, but after a few rounds of knocking on his door with no answer, I'd given up and gone back to Clarence's. Sonya and I then spent the day analyzing the blood samples we had taken from both Eddie and me. So far, Sonya had not been able to find any discernable differences, but we both tried to remain hopeful.

We had tried to call Adrian multiple times to see if he would be willing to come over to help with the notations, but he had been unresponsive, he had been quieter and moodier lately. Sonya and I were both trying to pretend like his absence didn't bother us.

We were sitting in the parlor, our reports and slides scattered on the table in front of us, when Sonya's phone rang. It buzzed on the table beneath the multitude of papers and she sifted through them as carefully as she could without disrupting our work. When Sonya wasn't working or gardening, she could usually be found with the phone pressed to her air and a smile on her lips. She tried to talk to Mikhail whenever she could – day or night.

She raised an eyebrow upon glancing at the screen; maybe it was Adrian finally calling us back.

"It's Sydney."

My entire body tensed automatically, Sydney and the others weren't due for a visit to Clarence's until tomorrow.

"Hey, Sydney," said Sonya casually. Her brows furrowed as the conversation continued, and then she said, "Sure, we'll be here."

She hung up and then glanced over at me, looking more confused than alarmed.

"Has something happened?"

"Sydney was just calling to make sure that you and I were home," said Sonya thoughtfully. "I don't think anything serious has happened, though she did sound a little flustered."

"She's under a lot of pressure," I said absentmindedly, picking up a card that was blotted with blood. "How should we proceed, maybe more blood?"

Sonya leaned in to squint at the card I held up. "I can't tell whose blood that is, even when I use Spirit. I'm not sure more blood from either you or Eddie would be helpful. It'd be interesting to get Strigoi blood and see if anything happened when I applied Spirit. Do you think you could manage it?"

Getting Strigoi blood would require more than just sitting on couches and giving blood samples. "Gladly," I told her, though I tried not to sound too enthusiastic.

The door opened just then and Sydney strode into parlor. Apparently Sydney hadn't been far away when she had called to confirm that Sonya and I were at Clarence's. Sonya turned to look at Sydney and her expression immediately darkened.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Sydney's own expression remained controlled, and most people would have assumed that nothing was wrong. I sometimes forgot that Sonya isn't most people though, and that Sydney's aura must have signaled to Sonya that something wasn't right.

"Angeline got into a brawl with a motivational group at school."

That was the last thing I had ever expected to come out of Sydney's mouth. Angeline was unpredictable and a little rough around the edges, but what she lacked in control she made up for in dedication. A quick glance in Sonya's direction revealed that she was just as stunned.

"Maybe we should go get some dinner," I suggested, realizing that Sydney could probably use a change of pace. I swiped the keys to the rental off the table. "Let's go downtown."

…

We ended up at the tiny Italian restaurant I had seen next door to the book shop. We requested a table inside, and Sydney waited until after our meals had arrived to reveal what had happened with Angeline and the motivational speakers.

Apparently a group had come to the school to talk about substance abuse and abstinence, but chose to do so through song and dance. A member of the group had attempted to pull Angeline on stage during one of their musical numbers and she had responded by attacking him.

"So she just punched him in the face?" asked Sonya, fighting off a grin despite the seriousness of the situation.

Sydney nodded gravely.

"Has she been expelled?" I asked, even though a part of me didn't want to hear the answer to my question.

Amberwood was not St. Vladimir's. Physical violence was not tolerated in the same that it was in the Moroi schools, and even then it was only in a classroom setting. I could only imagine how the faculty and staff would respond to one of their students assaulting another person.

Sydney took a deep breath before responding. "No, I managed to get her punishment reduced to suspension."

Sonya looked impressed, "How did you manage that one? Alchemist resources?"

"I threatened to sue them," said Sydney, a prideful undercurrent to her words. "I explained that an adult male grabbing a 15 ear-old girl was inappropriate, especially since Angeline was obviously uncomfortable with the situation. If a teacher had grabbed her, they would have been fired. I read in the Amberwood HR manual that the only situation where that sort of contact is allowed is during medical emergencies or to break up a fight. The group was invited to the school by the faculty, and so the speakers were obligated to follow those same rules by extension."

Sonya and I wore matching stunned expressions.

"And I might have told them that Angeline's father was a lawyer," she added sheepishly.

Never mind that Angeline's father was actually the leader of a group of hill-billy Vampires and had multiple wives.

"Smart," said Sonya, her grin widening. "Maybe you should be in law school instead of the Alchemists."

I was not as amused as Sonya seemed to be. "Angeline came here to do a job. She wanted out of the Keepers and she swore she'd devote every waking minute to protecting Jill."

"There has been a bit of a culture shock," said Sydney in a rare show of defending Angeline. "And those guys today…I mean, if they tried to get me to join their sing-along, I probably would've punched them too."

I tried to ignore the image of small, delicate Sydney punching a motivational speaker in the face. "Unacceptable. She's here on a mission. What she did was reckless and irresponsible."

Sonya gave me a wry look. "And here I thought you had a soft spot for reckless young girls."

"Rose never would have done anything like that," I countered, but even as I spoke the words I thought about how Rose had in fact attacked me the first night we'd met. "Well at least not in a public setting."

Sydney glanced down at her plate, and then looked back up to ask. "So…no experiments today?"

Sonya's smile broke for the first time since we'd sat down. "Ah. No, not exactly. We've gone over some notes on our own, but Adrian hasn't been…he hasn't been quite up to the research this week. Or up to going to class."

"I was over there earlier. He could barely answer the door. No idea what he'd been drinking, but whatever it was, he'd had a lot." I tried not to sound as disappointed as I was. He had been doing so much better before this week, but now he was back to his old habits.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," she said, tearing a dinner role to shreds on her plate. "Adrian's current mood isn't entirely his fault. I mean, it is, but I can kind of understand it. You know we saw his dad last weekend, right? Well…it didn't go well."

I actually hadn't known that they had gone to see Nathan, but the fact that the visit hadn't gone over well was not hard to believe. "I'm not surprised. Nathan Ivashkov isn't the easiest man to get along with." Rose had told me that Nathan was usually Vasilisa's biggest opposition in counsel sessions.

"He sort of tore down everything Adrian's been trying to do. I tried to make a case for Adrian, but Mr. Ivashkov wouldn't listen. That's why I was wondering if you guys could help."

"I'd gladly help Adrian," said Sonya, and I knew that she meant it; we both would if we could. "But something tells me Nathan's not going to really put much stock in what we have to say."

"That's not what I was thinking," said Sydney, pausing to put down what was lift of the bread. "You guys are both close with the queen. Maybe you could get her to tell Adrian's dad how…I don't know, what an asset he's been. How much he's been helping. Obviously, she couldn't explain what he's been doing, but anything might help. Mr. Ivashkov won't listen to Adrian or anyone else, but he'd have to take commendation from the queen seriously. If she'd do it," she added hastily.

"Oh she'd do it," and I knew that she would. "She's always had a soft spot for him. Everyone seems to."

"No," said Sydney forcefully. "Not everyone. There's a split. Half condemn him and write him off as useless like his dad. The other half just shrug and indulge him and say, 'Well, that's Adrian.'"

I was surprised by how fiercely Sydney was defending Adrian; there was a flicker of flame in her golden eyes, as if she was daring us to claim that she was wrong. But why did she care so much? Why was an Alchemist asking us to come to the aid of a Moroi?

Sonya's eyes narrowed on Sydney. "And you?" Sonya asked, probably wondering the same thing I was.

"I don't think he should be disregarded. If you expect him to do great things, he will."

Neither of us responded right away, Sonya continued to study Sydney closely and the Alchemist shifted slightly under her gaze.

"I'll speak to Lissa," she said at last. "And I'm sure Dimitri will too. In the meantime, let's hope that if we follow your advice and expect Adrian to sober up soon, he will."

I nodded my agreement, and after paying the check we stepped outside only to be greeted by the warm blanket of air that enveloped Palm Springs. My phone began to ring and I answered it without hesitation.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Comrade."

I felt like I might melt into a puddle, and it wasn't from the heat.

"Is now a bad a time?" asked Rose.

"No, no. It's always a good time for you to call, Roza."

"That sounds like a challenge," she said with a laugh. "How about I call you in another 7 hours when you're sleeping and we'll see if it's still always a good time."

I smiled and then heard Sonya tell Sydney that they should give me some privacy and asked if she would like to take a walk. I agreed to meet them at a costume shop a few blocks away and then settled onto a bench that stood outside of the restaurant.

"Was that Sydney I heard?" Rose asked.

"Mhmm, we just got done having dinner."

"Oh?" she asked, sounding intrigued. "Time for a feeding already?"

"Not that kind of dinner," I said with a chuckle. "Just spaghetti."

"I wonder if I could convince Abe to get dinner instead of going on this ridiculous hunting trip."

"Ah," I said knowingly. "So the trip is still on?"

"Yes," she grumbled. "We're leaving soon, so I was calling to say good bye now since I have a stinking suspicion that I won't get reception wherever we're going."

"It won't be that bad," I told her. "Who knows, you might even enjoy yourself, you will be shooting at things after all."

"I hate guns," she seethed. "It's cheating."

"Then do you plan on running after the animals and tackling them with your bare hands?"

"Ha ha, Comrade, very funny," she said, her tone drenched in sarcasm. "I wish I was coming to Palm Springs instead," she said wistfully.

"Me too," I told her softly. "These experiments won't last forever; I'll be home before you know it."

"I just miss you, that's all."

"I miss you too, Roza."

I heard a commotion on the other end and then what sounded like a string of very colorful cuss words on Rose's part. Perhaps I really would need to teach her to curse in Russian, it wouldn't be nearly as offensive to the people around her.

"I have to go," she said reluctantly. "I'll call you when I can."

"I love you," I told her, and even though they were just words, and even though they didn't seem like much, I poured everything I had into them.

"I love you too, I'll call you when I can."

We both paused for a moment and then the line went dead. Palm Springs was still and quiet, but only for a brief moment. A scream split the air, high and desperate and feminine.

"Help! Somebody help!"

I was off and running.

**I know, I know, I am terrible but I promise I will update this story when I can. This is kind of a long sequence so I'm pretty sure the next chapter will also be from Dimitri's POV. I'm starting law school on the 17****th****, so my free time is about to be non-existent. Just so that I know, how many of are you still actively reading this story?**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Dimitri – **_

The streets of Palm Springs blurred together in a stream of stucco and trees as I darted down the manicured sidewalks.

The scream came again, "Help! Somebody help!"

The closer I got to the source of the screams, the more familiar they became. I recognized the tone, the pitch, everything but the frantic undercurrent of the cries.

Sydney.

Logical, level-headed, prepared for anything Sydney needed help. Sydney, who had spent her entire life training to keep her emotions bottled up, to put the needs of the human race before her own, who hadn't blinked an eye when asked to lead a Strigoi down the dark streets of Kentucky was screaming for help.

I willed myself to move faster, streaking across the street and down a narrow alley. Brick walls loomed on all sides of me. The light from the setting sun had all but faded and the only remaining rays cut through the twilight sky, casting slanted shadows across the alleyway. My dhampir senses didn't miss a single detail even as I sprinted onward.

Palm Springs was alive with noise – cars honking, people talking, dogs barking – but the sounds of a commotion broke through the surface of casual city life. The scuffle grew louder the faster I ran – I was almost there.

I didn't bother stopping as the scene before me unfolded. Four figures, all clad in black, had apparently attempted to mug Sydney and Sonya. One of them had forced Sydney against the brick wall of the alley, her check pressed up against the stones. The other three figures had tasked themselves with pinning Sonya to the ground with something sharp and metallic poised above her throat.

I reached Sydney first.

Her assailant never saw me coming. I seized him by the collar and ripped him away from Sydney with more force than was probably necessary. Adrenaline was roaring through my veins, sharpening my senses and honing my skills. I tossed him aside and he landed sprawling on the pavement, a grunt of pain the only sign he was still conscious.

I whirled around and set my sights on Sonya, surging toward the man with the weapon. A roundhouse kick to the chest sent him flying backward. The object in his hand clattered to the ground next to where Sonya still lay. One of the men holding her down took one look at me and ran, the other assumed a defensive position. Sonya didn't bother sticking around though, she scrambled to her feet and joined Sydney, the two women clinging to each other for support.

It was just the two of us now.

There was a part of me, buried deep beneath the layers of training and discipline and service that _wanted_ this. I had spent the past few weeks sitting on couches and sifting through papers, now I was finally able to do something more than just research, something I wouldn't fail at. Fighting was in my blood, it was embedded in my brain, it came as naturally to me as breathing did.

Though maybe the fight would have been more satisfying if my opponent had managed to dodge more than a few hits. He lasted a little more than five seconds before a punch to his jaw sent him staggering. The assailant who I had dealt with earlier came at me from behind, probably hoping that I would be too distracted to anticipate his blow.

I dispatched him as easily as I had the first time. One of them took a few steps toward me, but was pulled back by his friend – he tugged on his arm desperately and the group struggled for a few moments before sprinting away, the three of them disappearing into the night.

A few thugs weren't worth pursuing, and they had been gone for only a few seconds before I turned my attention to the shapes huddled together in the shadows behind me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, striding toward them.

Sydney looked up at me from where she stood hunched over, nodding meekly. Sonya couldn't manage a response at first, but nodded her assent after taking a few gulps of air. My eyes darted between the two women, and I realized that neither of them was the sort to admit if something was wrong.

"Let's get out of here," I told them, placing a hand on each of their shoulders to help steer them out of the alley.

We had only made it a few steps when Sydney tensed. "Wait," she said, "We should take the sword."

_Sword?_

I opened my mouth to ask if she had been hit on her head, but then stopped when I remembered the object that had been poised above Sonya's throat. My mind had registered all of the observable details, the sharp point, the glint of metal, the razor edge, but I hadn't put all the pieces together.

_What kind of muggers carried around a sword in Southern California?_

I didn't have time to answer that question though, and I forced myself to focus on getting Sydney and Sonya out of that alley. I was able to find the sword before Sydney, her vision being impaired by the darkness. I lifted it gingerly off the ground and tucked it away beneath my duster, the blade slapping against my thigh as the three of us made our way back toward the main road.

I recognized the surrounding shops and buildings and realized we were only a block away from Adrian's apartment. A quick glance at the two women told me that I needed to get them off of the streets as quickly as possible. Sydney's golden eyes darted around frantically even as she kept one arm wrapped protectively around Sonya who jumped at even the slightest sounds.

We made it to Adrian's without incident, and Sydney half-ran up the steps to the door and began pounding on it. The door swung open a few moments later, revealing a disheveled Adrian. His usually stylishly mussed hair was greasy and flat, his eyes bloodshot. He looked annoyed for a brief moment, then seemed to realize that something was wrong.

"What…" he said, his speech slightly slurred. "What's going on?"

No one answered him. I ushered Sydney and Sonya passed Adrian who smelled like the bottom of a tequila bottle. He let the door swing shut behind us, his mouth slightly open and his gaze fixed on Sydney.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

Again, no one felt compelled to answer him right away. I reached passed him to slide the deadbolt into place, then turned my attention back to the girls. Sonya seemed to have escaped unscathed. If it wasn't for her wide eyes, pale skin, and trembling shoulders, you wouldn't have known that a crazed man had held a sword to her throat just ten minutes earlier.

If it was possible, Sydney was even paler than Sonya. Her lily tattoo shown like molten gold against the white canvas of her skin. I took a step toward her and reached out and gently held her chin, turning her non-tattooed cheek toward me. It was the cheek that had been pressed up against the stones of the alley and it was bleeding.

"A little scraped," I told her. "Not serious, but you should clean it."

Sydney stared back at me, her golden eyes dark with thought. She touched the spot I had indicated and her fingers came back spotted with red. She looked surprised, like she hadn't even known she'd been injured.

"What happened?" Adrian asked again, this time with more fervor.

The sword felt heavy as I withdrew it from the folds of my duster and held it out for Adrian to see.

"Something a little more serious than a mugging, I think."

"I'd say so," said Sonya, who had taken up residence on Adrian's couch. She touched the back of her head and winced. "Particularly since they called me a creature of evil before you showed up."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "They did?"

Whatever had happened to Sydney and Sonya had not happened by chance. Someone had targeted one or both of them. I racked my brain, trying to reason out _why_ someone would want to hurt these women in the first place, hoping it might help me unravel _who_ had tried to hurt them. They had called Sonya a creature of evil…the only explanation I could come up with sent a shudder through me – it meant that the assailants not only knew about the existence of Strigoi, but knew that Sonya had been one of them for a time.

But they had obviously been human…

My fist tightened around the sword, and something set off tiny alarms in my head. The hilt was cold and metallic, but it wasn't entirely smooth. I held it closer, and saw that the hilt was covered with engravings. Sydney, seeming to have noticed the symbols, stepped toward me.

"Do these mean something to you?" I asked, hoping that her Alchemy training included deciphering hieroglyphics.

"These are old alchemy symbols," she said slowly, probably still recovering from earlier. "From the Middle Ages, back when our group was just a bunch of medieval scientists trying to turn led into gold."

Much of what the Alchemists did remained a mystery to me, guardians knew only what was required for us to know so that we could work together when we needed to. I sometimes forgot that the sophisticated and technologically savvy Alchemists I knew today were very different from their medieval counterparts.

She reached out a hand and touched the largest symbol, a circle with a dot in the center. "This is actually the symbol for gold. This other one is silver. These four triangles are the basic elements – earth, air, water, and fire. And these…" she gestured to a different part of the weapon. "Mars and Jupiter, which tie into iron and tin. Maybe the sword's composition?" She paused to study the rest of the sword, a frown on her face. "No gold or silver actually in it though. Their symbols can also refer to the sun and moon. Maybe these aren't physical at all. I don't know."

Sonya had risen from the couch during Sydney's explanation, her curiosity seeming to have overcome her shock. She held out her hands and I placed the sword gingerly in her palms.

Her eyes narrowed at the first symbol Sydney had pointed out. "So, are you saying this is an Alchemist weapon?"

Sonya asked the question that had been floating in the back of my mind from the moment Sydney had mentioned that the Alchemists used to abide by these archaic symbols.

Sydney's frown deepened. "Alchemists would never use something like this. Guns are easier. And the symbols are archaic. We use the periodic table now. Easier to write 'Au' for gold instead of drawing that sun symbol."

"Is there any reason these would be on a weapon?" I asked, trying not to press her too hard. "Some greater symbolism or meaning?"

"Well, again, if you go back, the sun and gold were the most important to the ancient Alchemists. They revolved around the whole idea of light and clarity." She touched her tattoo absent-mindedly. "Those things are still important in some ways – it's why we use this gold ink. Aside from its benefits, the gold marks us as…pure. Sanctified. Part of a holy cause. But on a sword…I don't know. If whoever did this was going off the same symbolism, then maybe the sword is sanctified." She paused for a moment, grimacing. "Or maybe its owners feel it's serving some kind of holy duty."

"Who were these guys anyway?" asked Adrian, his tone deadly serious. "Do you think Jill's at risk?"

My body went rigid all over, I had yet to consider what this attack could mean to Jill's safety. It was entirely possible we would have to get her out of Palm Springs, tonight.

"They knew about vampires," I said, more to myself than to the others. "But they were human."

"Even I could tell that," Sydney agreed. "The one was pretty tall, but he was no Moroi."

I did my best to keep my features schooled to neutrality, but I could feel my expression darkening. "I've never heard of anything like this – mainly because most humans don't know about Moroi. Aside from the Alchemists."

I hadn't meant my words as a dig, but Sydney shot me a sharp look anyways. "This had nothing to do with us. I told you, swords aren't our style. Neither are attacks."

Sonya set the sword down on the coffee table. "No one's making accusations about anyone. I assume it's an issue you'll both want to bring up to your groups. Although, I think we're overlooking a key point here. They were treating me like a Strigoi. A sword's not the easiest way to kill someone. There'd have to be a reason."

"It's the only way a human could kill a Strigoi," Sydney murmured. "Humans can't charm a silver stake. I supposed they could set you on fire, but that's not practical in an alley."

Silence fell as we all considered Sydney's words. It was one thing for humans to be aware of the Strigoi, it was another thing entirely for them to have intimate knowledge of how to kill one.

Sonya let out a heavy sigh. "I don't think we're going to get anywhere tonight, not without talking to others." She turned her gaze to Sydney. "Do you want me to heal that?"

Sydney blanched. "No," she said hastily, cupping her injured cheek. "It'll heal fast on its own. I'll clean it before I go."

She threw back her shoulders and strode down the hallway, disappearing into the bathroom. Adrian whirled on me the moment the door closed.

"Where were you?" he demanded, his green eyes ablaze. "How could you let something like this happen?"

I felt my temper flare, but I did my best to stifle it. Luckily, Sonya spoke up so that I didn't have to.

"That's not fair and you know it, Adrian. He had no way of knowing – "

"You mean Belikov _isn't_ all-knowing?" demanded Adrian, throwing his arms up. "Better alert the evening news."

My fists tightened, it was always hard to tell when Adrian was being affected by Spirit or alcohol, or when he was just being a jerk.

"Why don't you go check on Sydney?" suggested Sonya to Adrian. "See if she's really okay?"

Adrian's expression softened at the mention of Sydney and he nodded stiffly before turning down the hall. I let myself collapse onto the sofa, feeling suddenly overcome.

How _did_ I let this happen?

Sonya sat down next to me, her eyes narrowed and her expression thoughtful.

I muttered something in Russian before saying, "Please stop examining my aura. I'm fine."

"No you're not," she said matter-of-factly. "You blame yourself for what happened."

My mouth tightened, forming a rigid line. "I should have been with you – "

"Look at me," she said, cutting me off. "I'm fine. Sydney is fine. It doesn't matter where you were in the beginning, what matters is where you ended up. You saved us."

Despite everything, I let out a low chuckle. "I'm pretty sure I'm the one who is supposed to be consoling you."

The corners of her mouth curved into a small smile and she sank back into the couch. "A lot of things aren't the way they're supposed to be."

We sat in silence for a few moments before Sonya asked, "What are you going to tell the Council?"

I mulled over her question, only a few, select members on the Guardian Council knew I was here, and an even smaller number knew why. If I reported this incident, it would mean possibly exposing Jill to danger. But not reporting the incident could be just as hazardous to Jill's safety.

I was torn, I needed information, the kind that only the Guardians could provide me with, but I also needed to keep Jill safe. I would have to go about asking my questions very carefully.

"I don't know," I said, raking a hand through my hair.

Sydney and Adrian emerged from the bathroom just then. Sonya and I rose from the couch to meet them. Some color had returned to Sydney's cheeks, and Adrian kept his gaze averted. There was something strange about the way they regarded each other, of how aware each was of the other's presence and movement.

Sonya grinned at the two of them and I suddenly found myself wishing I could see auras.

I reached for the sword, stowing it once again beneath the folds of my duster. "Let's go home."

**Hey everyone! I know it's been a while, but these past few months have been CRAZY. I am officially halfway through my first semester of law school. I decided that I deserved a little break and you guys were long overdue for an update. Thank you for messages and reviews, they always serve as happy little reminders that no matter how stressed out I get with school I have something to come back to. **

**Until next time!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I know it has been a while so it might be helpful to go back and re-read the last few chapters? Just a suggestion!**

_**Rose –**_

I was going hunting.

It was Abe's idea. He had decided that it was time that the two of us did some father-daughter _bonding_. Even though chasing after animals in the middle of the woods with a sawed off shotgun had never really struck me as something that fathers did with their only daughters, I had decided that I would accept my fate and would not complain.

Despite my resolution to not complain, I had managed to let out a few mild curses when Abe had first approached me with his plan to spend the weekend at one of his estates, but in the end, the idea of being able to escape my life at Court and Lehigh had won me over. It had been so long since I had done something outside the realm of my oath.

I only hoped that it would also distract me from my dealings with Robert Doru.

Lissa and I drove back from Lehigh late on Thursday night, and on that Friday I found myself standing in one of the Court's many parking garages with a duffel bag slung over my shoulder and a scowl on my face.

"Try not to look too excited," Christian drawled from beside me. "People might start to think that you're fun."

My scowl deepened and I turned to glare at him, but whatever retort I had been about to dish out disappeared at the sight of Christian's wide grin. He was always smiling whenever Lissa came back from school, in the first few hours after our arrival he would practically glow with elation.

She walked up from somewhere behind us and wrapped her pale arms around his waist, squeezing him tightly and then rising to the tips of her toes to press a kiss to the back of his neck. "Hey you," she said.

Christian blushed a shade of red similar to the flames he liked to throw at practice dummies. He squirmed in Lissa's grasp until he was facing her, still red and still grinning like an idiot.

"Excuse me," I said, making a dramatic gagging noise. "I think I'm going to be sick."

Christian swatted at me but never broke eye contact with Lissa, and I ducked away before I had to witness another make out session. It made me grateful that our bond was no longer intact, or else I probably would have had to witness that kiss first hand.

It was easy enough to slink off unnoticed by the guardian detail Abe had no doubt paid handsomely for. I hid behind one of the many sleek black SUVs at the Court's disposals and slid my phone from the pocket of my jeans, not even needing to look down at the keypad to dial the number I had long since memorized.

The phone rang only once before Dimitri answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Comrade," I said, trying not to sound as sheepish as I felt. I heard voices in the background, the scraping of chairs and the clinking of glasses. "Is now a bad time?"

"No, no," he said without hesitation. "It's always a good time for you to call, Roza."

I couldn't help but laugh. "That sounds like a challenge. How about I call you in another 7 hours when you're sleeping and we'll see if it's still a good time."

Dimitri huffed into the phone and then pulled it away to speak to whoever he was with.

"Was that Sydney I heard?"

"Mhmm, we just got done having dinner."

"Oh?" I mused, shuffling my feet. "Time for a feeding already?"

"Not thank kind of dinner. Just spaghetti."

I heard someone call for me from somewhere in the parking garage, someone with a slight Turkish accent.

"I wonder if I could convince Abe to get dinner instead of going on this ridiculous hunting trip."

"Ah," he said knowingly. "So the trip is still on."

"Yes," I told him with a grumble. "We're leaving soon, so I was calling to say good bye now since I have a stinking suspicion that I won't get reception wherever we're going."

"It won't be that bad," he told me reassuringly. "Who knows, you might even enjoy yourself, you will be shooting things after all."

"I hate guns," I seethed. "It's cheating."

For a brief moment the scar on my chest flashed with pain I knew wasn't real and I fought the urge to bring my hand up to clutch at it.

"Then do you plan on running after the animals and tackling them with your bare hands?"

"Har, har," I told him sarcastically, though I was seriously considering it. "I wish I was coming to Palm Springs instead."

"Me too," he said, his voice a little softer. "These experiments won't last forever; I'll be home before you know it."

I knew he was right, knew that it didn't do me any good to pine over him, but I also knew that I had just gotten him back – we were still trying to figure out our life together, and now we were trying to do it from opposite sides of the country.

"I just miss you, that's all." An oversimplification, but still truthful.

"I miss you too, Roza."

There was a loud crash from somewhere in the parking garage, followed by a series of what I could only assume were Turkish curses, and I found myself wondering if I could get Abe to teach me a few - under the guise of learning about my heritage, of course.

"I have to go," I said reluctantly "I'll call you when I can."

"How do you lose a teenage girl?!" I heard Abe demand of one of his men.

"I love you," Dimitri told me, and I filed his words away for when I would surely need them over the course of the next few days.

"I love you too, I'll call you when I can," I told him again, but mostly for my own reassurances.

I slid the phone back into my pocket and stepped out from behind the fleet of SUVs. "Calm down, old man, I'm right here."

Abe stood at the center of the garage, surrounded by luggage and guilty looking guardians.

"I found her," said one of them, who I realized after a moment was Mikhail Tanner.

Abe glared at him, "Good work."

Lissa and Christian stood off to the side, trying to smother their laughter. Lissa skipped forward and threw her arms around my neck and squeezed so hard I thought my head might pop off.

"Have fun," she whispered. "And call me if you need to be rescued."

Christian strolled forward lazily, hands in his pockets. "I'm sure you're going to have a great time – lots of dirt and animals and bugs," he shivered dramatically. "You'll love the wilderness, Rose, but if you don't come back, can I have your stuff?"

I gritted my teeth and probably would have tried to tackle him to the ground if I hadn't been cut off by Abe who coughed loudly, "Who said anything about the wilderness?"

…

After saying goodbye to Lissa and Christian, the guardians loaded up one of the SUVs with an arsenal of supplies, but Abe and I were to ride to wherever it was we were going in his town car, driven by Mikhail.

I figured I would pass the time sleeping and I managed to curl up on one the ridiculously luxurious benches and lean my head against the window. It was hard for me to sleep these days and I was always amazed at how quickly I had grown accustomed to sleeping next to Dimitri. Falling asleep had only grown more difficult with each spirit dream visit from Robert Doru and now it was a miracle if I fell asleep at all.

The lull of the car as it sped along the highway was hypnotic and I soon felt the collective nights I had spent lying awake hit me like a tidal wave of exhaustion. I was asleep almost instantly.

The town car passed over a particularly large pothole and the sinking feeling jolted me awake. Once I had rubbed the remnants of sleep from my eyes and blinked away the leftover fog, I found that we had driven through the night, and the sun had begun to rise somewhere on the horizon. I also found that I had no idea where we were.

Abe sat on the bench across from me looking particularly amused at my current state.

"Where are we?" I asked, trying to stretch my legs as much as I could in the back of the car.

He leaned toward the window and grinned. "We're here," he said, sounding a little too pleased with himself.

I looked out the window to catch my first glimpse of…well, I didn't really know what to expect. Abe had been pretty secretive with the details of our little hunting trip. Christian had teased me about staying in tents and cooking marshmallows over a fire, and when I had asked Dimitri about his hunting experiences with Abe, he hadn't been particularly forthcoming.

I pressed my forehead against the glass and loosed a breath as we passed through an iron gate and drove up to one of the most beautiful estates I had ever seen.

It felt like stepping into one of Adrian's dreams.

There was a manor house surrounded by lush green lawns, impeccably maintained and the color of emeralds. Ivy clung to the brick walls and swirled across the iron railings of balconies and windowsills. In the middle of the cobblestone driveway sat a marble fountain where a woman, hewn of white stone, poured water from her pitcher.

"Is this what you had in mind when you told me we were going _camping_?" I narrowed my eyes into slits and stared at where he sat, still perched on the opposite bench.

"I never actually said we were going camping, just hunting. You just assumed that it would be outside." he said, folding his hands in his lap. "Is it not to your liking?"

I rolled down the window and leaned out to get a better view. It was even more spectacular now that the colors weren't muted by the black tint of the town car. "Is all of this yours?" I asked.

"It is," he said, as the car came to a stop before the fountain.

"Now I know you were lying when you told me you weren't a mob boss."

His only response to my accusation was to shrug and tell me, "I'm retired.

…

Abe took me on a tour of the house, each room was brimming with art and polished furniture – but none of it seemed like it came from the same place, and yet it all somehow seemed to belong.

The guardians Abe had brought along left the luggage piled in the kitchen where Abe chose to end our tour.

"Now what?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

"Now," said Abe, grabbing a pack and thrusting it into my arms. "We hunt."

I groaned and looked out the window to where I could see a tree-line far off in the distance, which I could only assume meant that we really were going to be chasing after animals in the middle of the woods.

I tried to remember that I had promised to limit the amount of complaining I did on this trip.

I followed Abe out the backdoor of the kitchen, which opened up onto a small cobblestone path that led away from the manor house. The green grass that butted up against the stones was just as vibrant and lush as the sprawling lawns that lay at the front of the estate, but it was somehow wilder - it seemed older and the blades grew taller. All around us were ancient oaks and massive pines, their limbs full to bursting with leaves of every shade of green.

Abe continued to lead me down the path, and the farther we went, the denser the foliage became. The air was closer beneath the canopy, and the world seemed to grow just a little bit darker. The light that did manage to cut through the branches and the bark cast slanted shadows across the mossy forest floor that had since engulfed the cobblestones of the path.

"Uh," I said, dodging a cobweb that clung to the branches of a nearby spruce. "Was the whole father-daughter bonding trip just an act? Are you sure you didn't bring me out here to murder me?"

Abe peered over his shoulder and smiled smugly. "What makes you think that?"

I moved to side step a small boulder. "This is just like the plot of _The Most Dangerous Game_. You know, the short story where the creepy dude likes to hunt people because hunting animals got too boring for him." I paused to readjust my pack. "Are you going to start hunting dhampirs to spice things up a bit?"

He chuckled, "You have quite the imagination. I didn't realize you were a fan of Richard Cornell's work."

"I'm not," I told him pointedly "My professor, however, seems to really enjoy forcing his students to read it. He also enjoys asking us what we thought the author meant when they wrote...I don't know..._the sky is blue_."

Abe seemed to slow his pace a little. "And what do you think the author meant when they wrote that _the sky was blue_?"

I was a little caught off guard by the question, but I had spent enough time thinking about how much I despised our literature assignments that I didn't have to spend to long considering it. "I think that not everything is a metaphor. Maybe the author literally meant that the sky was blue. Sometimes people just say what they mean, and that's it."

"Ah, I did not realize my daughter was so learned," he said, clapping his hands together in approval.

"Yeah well," I paused to readjust the straps of my pack again, "I'm a fancy college student now."

He chuckled, and clasped my shoulder jovially. "That you are. Now come on, we're almost there."

He set off without another word, knowing that I didn't really have a choice but don't follow him.

We eventually emerged onto a clearing where a few of the guardians stood waiting next to what looked like a small machine perched on a tripod.

"You can drop the pack there," he said, pointing to a spot next to the machine.

"What on earth is even in here," I asked, grateful to be rid of the heavy pack.

Mikhail knelt down next to the pack and pulled out a solid orange disc and laughed. "It's your prey."

"My prey?" I repeated skeptically. "I'm obviously missing something here."

Mikhail took out more of the orange discs and loaded them into the machine. Another guardian stepped forward to hand me a pair of what looked like ear muffs.

"You might want to put these on," he warned me.

I took them, even though I had no idea what possible purpose they would serve. I turned to ask Abe what the hell we were doing, but stopped when I saw that he was wearing a similar pair of ear muffs and that he was loading rounds into a shotgun.

"We should step back," said Mikhail, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, taking a step back as I stretched the ear muffs over my head. I watched as Abe nestled the butt of the gun in the crook of his shoulder and took aim. "Pull," he yelled.

One of the guardians yanked on a cord connected to the machine and it jettisoned one of the pucks into the air. Abe traced its path as it sailed across the sky, and pulled the trigger.

The puck exploded in a cloud of orange dust and the guardians clapped politely for him. I felt myself release a breath I hadn't even known I'd been holding. We weren't hunting animals, I realized, we were trap shooting.

I found that I was instantly grateful to Abe.

He turned to look at me, saying something that I couldn't quite understand. "What?" I asked, pulling aside one of the ear covers.

"I asked if you wanted to try," he said, clipping on the safety.

I recognized from my training at St. Vlad's that Abe was loading a break-action shotgun as he pressed the barrel breach lever on the side of the gun, and the barrel fell forward at a 90 degree angle. He took out the shell casings and handed them to one of the guardians.

I fought the urge to take another step backwards. I had handled guns before, but even before I had been shot with one, I hadn't liked using them. I wondered if Abe would let me throw a stake instead.

Abe, who never missed anything, noticed my hesitation and he gestured for me to come stand beside him.

"You know," he said, too low for anyone but me to hear. "Fear is a complicated emotion." He paused to press another rounded into the cartridge. "It keeps us focused on the past, we tend to fear that which has already hurt us. But I have found, that the best way to overcome that fear, is to face it in the present and to not give it the power to hurt us again."

I let Abe's words sink in, and realized that I was in control. I reached out to take the gun, letting my hands run over its rugged surface and then clicked the barrel into place.

Abe stepped back. I raised the gun in my arms and closed one eye. I sucked in a breath and said "Pull."

The punk shot into the sky and I did my best to follow it, to mark it as I had seen Abe do, but when I pulled the trigger, there was no explosion of color - just the feeling of the shotgun kicking back into my shoulder. I winced with pain and embarrassment.

Abe resumed his place at my side. "You closed your eye, you'll never hit anything with one eye closed – it messes with your depth perception" he clucked. "And your posture is all wrong." He re-positioned my arms so that the butt of the gun was resting against my shoulder. "Take a deep breath," he told me, and I obeyed. "And another. Did you feel the differences between those two breaths? No intake of air is ever the same, never pull the trigger on an inhale. Wait until that moment when you have released all of the air, and pull."

He stepped back once more and I took a moment to consider Abe's advice. I reminded myself again that I was completely in control; of the trap thrower, of the shotgun, and of my fear.

I sucked in another breath and released it along with my one word command. "Pull."

This time I was ready for the clay pigeon. I didn't have to track it with the barrel of my gun. I waited until it crossed high into the air, and pulled the trigger right before it arced downward. The puck exploded in a riot of orange dust and I couldn't help the cheer that escaped my mouth. I turned to see Abe beaming at me, while the other guardians clapped their approval.

Abe stepped forward to hand me another round. "Much better, you just needed a little help, that's all."

"Thank you," I said, a little breathlessly.

"You can always ask me for help, you know," he said backing away. "All you have to do is ask."

I nodded, pulling the latch to break open the barrel and insert the round. I turned back to face the open field, braced against an equally open sky and took aim.

…

We spent the entire day shooting. Toward the end, Abe and I had started to get a little competitive and we had decided to head back to the house before things got out of hand. Dinner was simple, and despite the fact that my shoulder ached and my lids were heavy, Abe had insisted that we have a drink to celebrate my success before bed.

We ended up in a parlor on the second floor of the house. Mikhail joined us, but in a more official capacity. Abe headed straight for a bar cart at the far side of the room and pulled the glass stopper out of a decanter and began to pour a drink.

"Only the finest scotch for my daughter," he said proudly, then suddenly halted mid-pour. After a moment he shook his, muttering something in Turkish and then resumed pouring. "Don't tell your mother," he told me with a wink before handing me the glass.

Mikhail took up his position by the door, his hands clasped behind his back and his normally easygoing expression schooled into neutrality. It was amazing how effortlessly a guardian could melt into their surroundings, shifting from a powerful presence to little more than a fly on the wall in a matter of seconds.

Abe poured a second glass, but instead of keeping the scotch to himself, he extended it toward Mikhail.

Mikhail's only reaction to the offer was a barely visible shake of his head before saying. "Thank you, but drinking on the job is generally frowned upon."

"Suit yourself," said Abe, turning to set the glass onto the polished wooden coffee table that sat at the center of the room.

He lowered himself onto a plush red sofa, whose coloring bore a striking resemblance to blood. I took a seat in a high-backed arm chair next to the fireplace, but had to sit perched on the edge of it to be avoid being swallowed up by the opulent velvet cushions.

Despite the openness of the parlor, the air felt close and stuffy. I wasn't sure if my uneasy feeling was flowing from the antique furniture and thick looking draperies or the awkwardness that stemmed from sitting in a room with my estranged father and a decanter full of scotch.

Even Abe seemed to be a little off as he cleared his throat before saying, "So, Mikhail, how are the wedding plans coming along?"

Mikhail glanced toward one of the empty parlor seats as if he were trying to figure out who Abe was speaking to, then cleared his throat. "Sonya has been handling most of it, not that I don't want to be involved, but I think it helps to distract her from..." he paused, eyes shifting to me, then to the charred logs lying in the fireplace.

"From the Strigoi research," I finished for him, staring into the bottom of my glass before taking a sip.

I decided immediately that I did not like scotch.

Abe, seeming to realize that this particular conversation was not one that Mikhail and I wanted to have, he quickly changed the subject. "Does that also mean you're letting her handle the bachelor party?" he asked with a sly smile.

The corners of Mikhail's mouth twitched upward slightly. "No, I've decided I don't really need a traditional bachelor party, just good people and maybe some good food – something simple."

Abe considered his words, "That seems reasonable, I like your style."

I raised an eyebrow and took another, smaller sip from my glass. "Really?" I asked trying not to grimace as the scotch burned its way down my esophagus. "I figured a wild night of debauchery and other unsavory shenanigans would be right up your alley, old man."

Abe lifted his shoulders in a slight shrug. "You do recall who my bride to-be is, don't you?"

"How could I forget," I huffed, taking a bigger sip.

"I doubt very much that Janine would approve of me having a traditional bachelor party. Besides," he added, reaching for the glass of scotch he had abandoned on the coffee table. "I am, as you so lovingly and frequently remind me, an old man." He paused to take a long drink. "Bachelor parties are for young men who need to have one last memorable experience as a single man. I have lived much of my life without your mother, I don't need a party to remind me of what it was like to live that way."

Abe tilted the crystal glass from side to side, watching as the amber liquid swirled around and around before downing the remaining contents. I realized then that this was probably the most emotion I had seen Abe display. I was again forced to realize, as I had with my mother, that the man in front of me was more than just a parent - more than just his status and his reputation - he was a person, flawed and uncertain and like the rest of us, had felt things the rest of the world would probably never understand.

Instead of saying any of this out loud, I followed suit and finished my drink. The taste of it didn't make me cringe this time, it had even warmed my insides enough that I might have agreed to a second glass if it were offered.

"Do you regret it?" I asked, hands gripping the glass a little more tightly. "I mean, I guess what I'm really asking is if you could go back, would you have done things differently?"

He pursed his lips slightly, dark brows drawing together in thought. "Experience has taught me that considering the many 'what-ifs' of life and pondering what you would change if given the chance usually does one little good."

"That was a pretty round-about way of saying no." I told him bluntly.

His jaw was pulled tight, and he rose from his seat to pour himself another drink. "What do you want me to say, Rosemarie? That if I could, I would go back and be the father you always deserved?"

I tried not to let the tone of his words sting. "I'm glad you can at least admit that I deserved better."

"Of course you deserved better!" he said, gesturing wildly, his drink still in hand. "Do you think I liked the idea of you being shipped off to St. Vladimir's? Do you think I had any choice in the matter? Your mother did what she thought was best for you."

I fought the urge to leap out of my chair, but I gripped my hands more tightly around my glass instead. "And you thought _abandoning_ me was the best thing for me?"

"That's being a bit dramatic, Rosemarie," he told me, leaning against the bar cart. "We did not abandon you, we did not utterly forsake our only daughter. Alberta sent us letters, reports, pictures even – when she could. I kept my distance to keep you safe, but that doesn't mean I abandoned you"

"Safe from what? You keep talking about protecting me, doing what's best for me - but no one ever wants to explain what _they_ think I need protecting from."

Abe let out a sigh, his shoulders drooping slightly and he turned to set the glass down on the cart before taking a seat on the chair across from mine. "Do you know what they called your mother?" he asked, his elbows coming to rest on the tops of his thighs. "When everyone at court found out that she was pregnant?"

I tried not to flinch at the thought of what the more wretched court-dwellers had probably said to my mother.

"Blood-whore." He said the term with such distain, as if he meant to burn the word from existence with his malice. "Some of the royals meant to scandalize her pregnancy; the renowned guardian Janine Hathaway, pregnant with some Moroi man's bastard." He spoke his words like a gossip headline. "But you know your mother, she's strong now and she was strong back then. She endured the worst of it…until you were born and she realized that she could never endure their hatred so that you wouldn't have to, she would never be able to shield you from the worst of it." He paused, watching as I set my empty glass onto a side-table, and slid my hands under my thighs to hide the shaking. "So she sent you to the best academy she could, and she thought that maybe the walls of St. Vlad's would prove to be less susceptible to gossip, and she threw herself into her work – became the best guardian she knew how to be. She made sure that her reputation as a guardian is what the rest of the world thought of when they heard the name _Hathaway_."

"Where were you in all of this?" I asked, trying not to choke on the anger I felt for people I didn't even know.

"We both knew my involvement would just make matters worse," he said, his voice as sad as I had ever heard it. "So I did what I do best, and I worked from behind the scenes. Of course, there were some at court who knew I was your father, but it seems your mother and I managed to keep the rumors at bay."

Mikhail cleared his throat quietly and I nearly leapt out of my skin at the sound. I had forgotten that he was still in the room, but Abe didn't seem to notice.

"So, to answer your question – did you deserve better? Yes, as far as I'm concerned nothing and no person in this world will ever be good enough for you. Was it wildly unfair to you that your mother and I never let you make the decision to be raised in an academy for yourself? Probably. Would I change a single thing? No. Except maybe the part where you start dating your instructor, but...semantics."

The room was suddenly silent, save for the sound of Abe draining the last of his scotch. I kept my eyes trained on the far side of the room, at a gilded oil painting mounted above a vase full of silk flowers. I stared until the canvas blurred together in a maelstrom of color and I tried desperately not to think about my childhood and what life had been like for me as a young ward of St. Vladimir's.

Even after hearing Abe's explanation for why things had turned out the way that they did, I found that I still did not agree with them, even as I gained a new understanding and perspective of it, even as I found that I forgave them. They had made sacrifices for me, to keep me safe, and when I had disappeared to find Dimitri, Abe had been the one to find _me_ and the one to ultimately bring me home. He had blown up half of court and staged a prison break for me. They were unconventional, and strange, but I guessed that that was okay because they were still mine.

"Mikhail," I said, my voice a little strained. "Would you mind giving us a minute?"

Mikhail didn't argue, he looked relieved at being asked to leave the room and I almost wished that he would bring me with him. Abe didn't seem phased by my asking Mikhail to leave us alone though, but my palms had begun to sweat and I had to wipe them on the fine upholster of up my chair.

"Did you mean what you said earlier?" I asked, turning toward Abe the moment the door clicked shut behind Mikhail.

"You'll have to be more specific, I tend to say a great deal throughout the day."

"About helping me, with anything, whatever I needed."

"Of course I did," he said, sounding mildly offended that I would need to confirm the truth of his statement.

"I'm going to tell you something," I said after a brief pause. "And you don't get to ask questions, not until the end."

Abe's forehead creased in what I could only assume was a mixture of concern and confusion. "Rose," he asked, sounding slightly alarmed. "What is this about?"

I took a deep breath in through my nose, and then told him my story, the one that had been weighing me down and keeping me awake – the one about Victor and Robert and Elliott.

I had been toying with the idea of explaining my situation to Abe for a few days now. I was running myself ragged trying to come up with solutions, to no avail. My father was one of the few people I knew with the resources to tackle the kind of problem that Robert and Elliott posed. And today he had reminded me that he was my father, and he would be there when I needed him to be.

I told him everything, and was only a little impressed that he only tried to interrupt me four times before I had finished.

"When was the last time Robert Doru tried to contact you?" he asked, rising swiftly to his feet.

"Last week, I was in class, but the spirit charm Lissa made me wouldn't let the dream fully form."

He began pacing back and forth. "And the report that the guardians received last month about Victor Dashkov being sighted, that was Robert?"

I nodded firmly and watched Abe as he continued to ware down the wood flooring with his pacing. "The alchemist, Elliott, he knows about you and what happened to Dashkov?"

I nodded again. Abe seemed to be going through a mental checklist in his head, ticking off facts one by one. I could practically see the wheels in his head spinning, the gears and cogs whirring as he considered all that I had told him.

He suddenly halted and pulled his phone from his pocket, pressed the keys in rapid succession and pressed the phone to his ear. The conversation was quick, heated, and took place almost entirely in Turkish.

"Thank you," he said after a few, brief moments.

It was the only word I understood.

"Come on," he told me, turning on his heel and walking toward the door. "We're leaving."

"Wait, what?" I asked, clambering after him. "It's the middle of the night, where are we going?"

"You," he said, spinning around to face me. "Are going back to Court. You will not speak a word of this, to anyone, including your mother. You are going to tell anyone who asks that I was called away on business."

"Where are you going?" I demanded, my arms folded across my chest.

He stiffened and straightened his jacket. "I am going to find Robert Doru," he told me, a hard glint in his eyes.

My eyes, the same deep brown as his, narrowed. "How are you going to do that?"

"My dear girl," he said, and his lips curled. "They do not call me Zmey for nothing."

**Hey everyone! I know it's been a while, but summer is here and I am ready to write! Also here is a little update within the update – I finished my first year of law school and will be transferring to Georgetown in the fall! Woo! I am really excited to start this new chapter of my life (and it's going to include more chapters of To Forgive and Forget) Love you all and thank you for sticking with me!**


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